Wipe your tears
by KitsuneChan83
Summary: This is the sequel of "Broken Dreams". Will Anders find love in another woman's arms? Will this Amell heal his heart? Read to find out! Bioware owns the characters, so big thanks to them!
1. Memories

_Author's Notes: I wrote this story while I was listening the Maroon 5 album, therefore the title of one of my favorite songs. This story is the chapter after Anders leaves Solana Amell and him and Justice became one. I wanted to portray Anders agony is not only by Justice but from his memories with Solona. I hoped I achieved it. I tried to add Justice voice on it I hoped I succeeded. if not please let me know and I will try and re- write that element._

_R&R please. Be critical and judgmental but nice about it. Love you all_

* * *

Anders was busy in his clinic. He was extra busy today and he was exhausted. Justice was not really helping with his constant talking. How his life became so complicated? All he wanted was to live freely with the woman he loves... no! He shouldn't think about her anymore. She is long gone; the last news she heard about her is that she took Mr Pow and disappeared in the wilderness. How he missed her, how he ached for her. Her small delicate figure, fragile in his arms, her silver white hair streaming on his mothers pillow like a blanket of snow, her breathing soft and quite, calm, her eyelids flicker like butterfly wings while she dreamed. Bliss! Anders, snap out of it! Anders!

"_Wha..."_ he turned and so Tomas holding a boy in his arm. The little boy's body was limp and lifeless into his father's arms. Maker help me!

"_Anders, please, my son was run over by a horse on our way back to the farm. He is not moving Anders, please."_ Tomas looked at him in pure agony; this man who was at his side almost from the beginning, helping him with the patients as well as with the Templars, this man never asked him anything for exchange of his kindness.

"_Of course Tomas, place him on this bed and move back." _Anders closed his eyes and concentrated, commanding his magic at his fingertips. He touched the body of the little boy and he started healing the broken bones and the internal bleeding. He was getting tired and ready to collapse when the boy drew a breath. He moved back and almost collapsed on the wall. Tomas was talking but he could not hear his words. He needs to shut the clinic for a few hours to rest. He hasn't slept probably for the last four days in a row.

"_Tomas... Can you lock the clinic behind you when you leave please? I really need to sleep. Also I am not opening tonight." _Anders turned around, touched his staff and rubbed his eyes. Maker please! He didn't want to dream of her tonight.

Suddenly a raw energy of magic walked into the room. Templars Anders!

"_I have made this place a sanctum of healing and salvation, why do you threaten it?"_ Makers breath is her! No! He couldn't believe his eyes. He stared for a few more seconds until he realized it wasn't her. Her nose was a lot smaller and her lips a lot fuller. She carried herself with confidence, a confidence that she never met on a mage. A dwarf, a human and an elf were standing at her side. The elf was the most peculiar thing he ever saw.

"_Strange occupation for a Warden. Aren't you more about taint and death, not healing and salvation?"_He laughed at her own joke and the dwarf snickered next to her and the man groaned. Who are this people, and most importantly who is this mage?

"_Did the Wardens send you to bring me back? I'm not going. Those bastards made me give up my cat. Poor Ser Pounce-a-lot. He hated the Deep Roads." _A gift from her, to keep him warm at night she said with a smile. He was such a good cat. He missed him, he missed them.

"_You had a cat named Ser Pounce-a-lot? In the Deep Roads?"_She was looking at him with disbelief, probably thinking that he was insane.

"_He was a gift. A noble beast. Almost got ripped in half by a genlock once. He swatted the bugger on the nose. Drew blood, too." The blighted Warden said he "made me too soft." I had to give him to a friend in Amaranthine." _Nathaniel better look after him or I will kill him.

"_So you came to Kirkwall just to escape the Wardens?"_This girl really started to irritate him. So cocksure of herself and… by the Maker she looked like her.

"_You say that like it's a small thing. Yes, I'm here because there's no Warden outpost, no darkspawn, and a whole host of refugees to blend in with. And some reasons of my own."_ Could he trust them? No Anders! The Templars might have sent her to lure him out. QUIET!

"_I've always heard that joining the Wardens was for life."_Maker! The elf's tattoos are made with lyrium. Is it even possible?

"_That's only partly true. The "hopelessly tainted by the darkspawn" and "plagued by nightmares about the Archdemon" parts...don't go away. But it turns out if you hide well, you don't have to wear the uniform or go to the parties."_ She gave him a mischievous grin and his heart skipped a bit. The man punched her on the shoulder and her face went dark and her palm lit with fire.

"_I need to know how to get into the Deep Roads and you can tell me, willing or not." _Is she for real? Who the fuck does she think she is. She is just a kid. He could see it now. His love was more wise, more mature and kind. And that elf keeps staring at him like he will turn to an abomination at any moment.

"_Don't threaten me, little girl. You can't imagine what I've gone through to get here. I'm not about to…! Although...a favor for a favor. Does that sound like a fair deal? You help me, I'll help you?"_He didn't really have a choice did he. He has to ask her. Anders no!

"_"Let's be more specific. I don't do anything involving children or animals." _What is wrong with this girl?

"_I have a Warden's map of the depths in this area. But there's a price. I came to Kirkwall to aid a friend. A mage; a prisoner in the wretched Gallows. The Templars learned of my plans to free him. Help me bring him safely past them, and you shall have your maps."_ He held his breath and waited for her answer. She was studying him, her eyes never leaving his. The dwarf suddenly pulled her sleeve and whispered in her ear.

"_How are you planning on breaking him out of the Gallows?"_ With a relief he breathed out. At least she was considering it.

"_I'm hoping it won't come to that. I sent Karl a message to meet me in the Chantry tonight. Maker willing, he'll be there, alone. But if there are Templars with him, I swear, I'll free him from them. Whatever the cost." _The man and the elf growled, the dwarf slapped his forehead with his palm. The girl just smiled. A warm smile, an understanding smile.

"_Oh, that's all? I think I'd rather take my chances with the darkspawn."_ Her companions smirked but she didn't. She just nodded and winked at him. Thank the Maker.

"_I welcome your aid. I've already sent word for Karl to meet me in the Chantry tonight. Meet me there and, regardless of who is there with him, we all walk away free." _He watched them walk out, while the man was shouting at her and the elf glowing like a candle. The dwarf just shook his head and laughed.

"_Rose, we can't go killing Templars, they are on to you already, sister please!"_He said with agony and fear in his voice.

"_Carver have I ever told you that you worry to much? Templar this, Templar that! Please Ser Templar please don't smite me. Let them come Carver. I do not fear them."_She turned and looked at him and laughed while her brother kept talking.

Rose; that was the mage's name. A beautiful name and a relief swooped over him knowing that that man was just her brother. But with what right should he feel relief? No! He will not go down this road again. That part of him was long gone; no woman will ever replace Solona Amell.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

Karl is dead, by his own hand. That man taught him everything he knew, and more. And he killed him. It was the Templars fault, the Chantry's fault, the Maker himself was to blame. Even Rose had problem understanding him and she was a mage. She reminded of himself before he met Solona and Justice. So care free, full of life and expectations, everything was a joke, and everything was fair game. The Maker had a sense of humor for sure though. To send her his way, her cousin, in the dark probably nobody will be able to tell them apart. He needed a drink fast. He got up, locked the clinic and made his way through Darktown, up to Lowtown. He knew she will be there. She was always there. How she managed to do any of her tasks is a mystery to him, but damn she knew how to fight! Her fighting techniques were definitely not taught by the Circle. Quick with her magic, her staff was used as a melee weapon as well as for spells. He secretly started training himself with her techniques and he found out that they worked better together and more sufficiently. She commented on it, not to mock him or to make fun of him, she actually meant it. All he did was to blush, lower his head and mumble something like, oh is ok, or, I am not good as you are. Fenris was behind him and heard the whole discussion. He moved and knocked him with his shoulder while glowing like a firework. He gave him the stare of a feral dog. It was beyond him why Hawk had him around, or why she enjoyed his company so much. He stood in from of The Hanged Man debating whatever to get in or not when he thought how pissed off Fenris will be to see him there.

He walked inside the Hanged Man and the smell of piss and ale slapped him on the face. Maker, even Darktown smells better than this place. He climbed the stairs into Varric's room. Everyone was here, even Aveline. Hawk was sitting between Isabela and Fenris sharing a joke, dirty one probably, Aveline and Varric were playing diamondback, while Merill was trying to read Carver's palm. He sat next to Varric and watched them playing until Hawk burst out laughing. Her laugh was a lot rougher than Solona's, more loud, more… not hers.

"_Come on Hawk, just a small kiss. I can't have the broody elf telling me he is a better kisser than me?"_Anders tried to eavesdrop to their conversation without looking to suspicious.

"_So let me get this straight. You want me to kiss you and Fenris and I have to tell you who is better at it? Alright, for scientific reasons only of course."_ Anger started to boil inside Anders. NO! She didn't belong to him. He didn't want her anyway. She was obnoxious and childish. Fenris was blushing, but seeing Anders staring at them through his mug of ale, he smiled and grabbed Hawk's face in his hands and kissed her like the hungry wolf that he was. Carver just groaned and looked the other way. Merill looked fascinated. He let go of her and Anders could see that her eyes were glazed.

"_Isabela dear, your turn!" _said with a smile. Isabela jumped on her which made Hawk fall on Fenris lap, and then on the floor. Everyone burst out laughing, even Carver. Her mabari, Queen Anora started barking and jumping. Aveline shook her head and declared that he was going back to the barracks before she had to arrest them for public indecency. That brought new burst of laughter. Isabela was off Hawk and they went back drinking, while Hawk declared they were both amazing kissers and she was too drunk to decide. Suddenly the discussion revolved around Fenris tattoos where Hawk kept poking them, Fenris flinched but he never stopped her. He looked glad that Hawk was touching him. Carver also wanting to show everyone his mabari tattoo with the only willing participant Merill.

"_I have a tattoo as well, would like to see it?" _he gave a shy smile at Fenris, and when he hard- swallowed and nodded, she started unbuttoning the top buttons of her robe. He got up and turned around, having her back at them. She dropped the top part of her robes around her waist and removed her top small cloth. Anders was mesmerized. Her whole back was covered with a black rose vine, where black and red roses ornate the vine. The vines hugged her back and her sides, and Anders noticed that the vines were coming out from the bottom part of her robes with small movement. Maker! The vine is actually moving! A head of a wolf was also popping out, moving left to right, trying to climb the vine. He felt his trousers getting tight and sweat forming on his forehead. No, Anders! Fenris turned red, where Isabela got up and stroked the wolf's head. Silence was in the room. She was just standing there, naked at the top, with her head tilted on the side staring at them and the tattoo.

"_I got it from a Tevinter Magister. He was visiting Lothering, it was a couple months before father died remember Carver?"_ she looked at him and they both smiled, while she quickly glanced at Fenris to see her reaction when he mentioned the Tevinter Magister. He didn't care; he was blushing watching the black wolf trying to climb her back.

"_Yeah I remember, I got my mabari with the other guys. I wasn't joking when I said I can make it bark. It can actually bark. So anyway, we got grounded to plow the fields and not visit the village for three whole months. It was a nightmare. But it was worth it"_ They kept looking at each other, sharing font memories of their past.

"_Yes, it was worth it alright." _She was smiling while she was covering herself. Anders, never saw anything more beautiful in his life. It was not lost to him though that she had a wolf on her, and the looks that Fenris gave her. He knew what he was thinking, because he had the same thought. He wished he was the wolf climbing her back.

They spent the next two hours playing cards, which Isabela as usual won every single game. She looked at Hawk with a mischievous smile and Hawk had a worried looked on her face, as worry as she could get after the amount she drank. Hawk could take her drink. Solona couldn't. Hawk grew up with her family, with freedom, she had a loving childhood. She did all the stupid things that normal teenagers do. Worst case scenario for her getting caught was missing the Harvest Ball, him and Solona in the Circle got a beating and raped. Maker he missed her, he felt so alone!

"_You know, I met your cousin… the Grey Warden. What a charming woman she is my dear. More lady like than you of course, well she was a little minx between the sheets though._" Anders was fuming, Justice tried to come out but he controlled himself.

"_Wait, wait! You want to tell me that Solona and you slept together?"_ She started laughing and shook her head in disbelief.

"_Well none of us did any sleeping I can assure you. And that King of Ferelden knows how to please a woman or… two!"_ A mischievous smile broke on her face. Anders could not take it anymore. He will not sit here and listen to these vile people, smothering her name with their filth. He jumped off his sit and walked to the door. He stopped, and without turning around he said:

"_You don't know her enough to speak like that about her. She is a good person, a loving person and she deserves your respect. She saved all of us more than once. And that King Alistair is a fool, using her and nobody can see it… Not even her."_He walked away, everybody in silence, until he heard Hawk's voice declaring it is time for a visit to the Blooming Rose. No, nothing like her at all.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

Hawk was laying naked on the bed with Serendipity half snoring next to her. She was her favorite; it was a girl, well man, which knew exactly what she wanted from life. But Hawk was not thinking of Serendipity. Why Blondie reacted the way he did? She knew that her cousin recruited him to the Grey Wardens, and she understood the loyalty he felt for her, but she could see more in his eyes. He was a very disturbed man. She saw him looking at her with Fenris and Isabela at the Hanged Man or the way he was looking at her back when she showed them her tatoo. The look of hurt and longing, but she could also see that it wasn't looking at her. She needs to talk to her mother; she needed more information about this Solona Amell. She got up and dressed, thanking her stars that she wore one of robes this morning. Serendipity moved and Hawk placed a kiss on her lips and with a smile left the room. At the same time Carver came out of a room and blushed seeing his older sister.

"_Carver"_ said with a serious face.

"_Rose" _replied and followed her out in the street. They walked in silence for a while until Hawk stopped. Carver came to a hold as well and looked around for any bandits.

"_Have you noticed anything strange about Anders behavior tonight?" _It really bothered her the way it looked at her.

"_Well you mean more than his usual annoying self? No, not really. Well except when Isabela mentioned Solona Amell. He didn't look very happy about her talking about her like that. It's understandable though. She was his Commander and soldiers follow and respect their Commander above anybody. Not that I except you to understand."_ Yes, her brother was a tit, but she loved him anyway. What she couldn't understand is why she was so disturbed about the way Anders looked at her. She thought he was boring, irritating and above else dazzling. Wow! Did she just think that? No, no. Keep walking Rose this is stupid.

"_Hey Carver…If you want Merill to start paying more attention to you, you better limit your visits at Faith's"_ Her brother blushed and walked in the front to avoid his sister's snickering.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

"_Mother….psst. Mother wake up."_ She shook her mother, and her mother opens her eyes with a fright.

"_Are you OK? Is Carver ok?"_Life has not been easy for Leandra since she met Malcolm Hawk, but they lived a good life together. Now her husband dead, her daughter dead, her coming home and discovering she had nothing. To top everything up her, her two remaining children were mercenaries for the last year and now they were planning an expedition to the Deep Roads.

"_Mother I have a question for you. Have you ever met Solona Amell? Can you describe her to me?"_Her mother gave her an exasperated look. She woke her up to ask her that? Then again her oldest child always had reasons beyond anybody's understanding of doing or asking things. Except her father. He understood her more than anybody.

"_Well I saw her once when she was just two and once at the Circle. I went at the inn near the Circle to see if they were any rumors for apostates before we moved to Lothering. She was escorted by a Templar back to the Tower. I think they went to Red Cliff to buy some things. Anyway, she is beautiful you know. She… she looks exactly like you. Maker! Why I didn't noticed it before. Well her hair was long while yours is… well… it looks like ummm… never mind. Same eyes and same milky white skin. You are both the spitting image of your great- grandfather Leonidas Amell. He was such a stunning man in his youth. His mother was a mage you know. Anyway, why are you asking these questions in the middle of the night?"_ Her daughter's face was in the shadows but she could hear her voice was uneven. Rose Hawk was not a fool. She knew that look that Anders gave her. But it was not meant for her. His heart belonged to her cousin, and her cousin… broke it.

"_No reason really! Isabela said that she met her at Denerim and I want to see if the description matched. Goodnight mother." _She kissed her mother on the cheek and lay next to her to go to sleep. She's been sharing the bed with her mother over a year now. She loved laying next to her and hug her when she got cold. Sometimes they will talk and joke in the dark, remembering their past life, when Bethany and her father were alive.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

They were leaving for the Deep Road in two weeks time and Anders didn't even know if she was taking him with her. He didn't want to go but an unknown force compelled him to follow her to the ends of the world. He was amazed how she placed herself in front of every mage that ever needed her. She knew freedom and she wanted to share it with everyone. Even with her feral wolf, Fenris. It seems the Amells have that power of command. He found himself wandering what kind of a person her father was. Was he a patient instructor with his girls or was he strict like the ones in the Circle. She had this raw energy of life, hopping around like a cricket, making as much noise as possible and fuck the rest. How much she envied that, her power to walk into a room and everybody's mood would relax and be happy. Except of him of course. He will never be happy again, only when he dies. The mages plight is his reason for living now. She is here Anders!

"_Hellooooo, Anders? Are you here? Why on earth you are sitting on the floor? You have plenty of chairs. Let me guess! Justice told you to. JUSTICE PEOPLE SIT ON CHAIRS YOU KNOW. Seriously these spirits are such a pest!_"The smile never left her face when she pulled him up. Suddenly she blushed and looked the other way. Anders looked at his feet in amazement wondering what could possibly make Rose Hawk blush.

"_Ummm, so the whole gang is going to, ummm, the Wounded Coast for a picnic, you know at the beach, go for a quick dip. Ummm, is really hot in these robes, right? Hehe! You know what I mean, right?"_ Maker her ears are turning red.

"_I am a bit busy Hawk. With my patients, you know."_Hawk looked around and there was nobody but them. She lowered her head and turn to go.

"_Oh! Ok yeah, sure, I understand. I will see you later then?"_Maker she is so beautiful! He groaned and looked at her moving away from him with her head lowered.

"_Hawk wait. Let me get my backpack and lock up."_ Her face lit up. He knew he will regret this. He knew Justice will scream in his head the whole time. He didn't care. He made her smile. He made Solo… no, he made Hawk smile. They walked in silence, well; he walked while she skipped, where everyone else was standing. Aveline was the only one not coming, something about mixed up rota. Everyone got excited to see him, except the usual ones, Carver and Fenris. He gave them one of his legendary charming smiles, passed them by with a wink and Hawk jumped on his back and commanded him to move. Queen Anora was jumping around and half tripped him, while Hawk giggled in his ear. Fuck it, he was happy right now.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

They found a nice spot and placed some blankets and a good spread of fruits, breads, cheeses and of course white Orlesian wine, which Anders and Hawk took turns to cool. They were chatting and laughing when Hawk jumped up and declared she is ready for a swim. Varric said something about dwarfs being lousy swimmers, so he will sit there and watch them drown at his leisure. Isabela took her boots of and run fully clothed into the water.

"_Huh! To be honest I expected her to take everything off. Quite disappointing if I may say so." _Everybody agreed with Varric until Isabela turned around and it was quite clear that the thin linen shirt she was wearing wasn't actually concealing anything when it was wet, and she was not wearing anything under it. Everybody laughed and Isabela knew exactly why. Fenris and Carver removed their shirts and boots and rolled their trousers up to their knees before they raced into the water, while Merill took her clothes off but her small clothes. Anders and Varric stared at her in amazement. She looked puzzled.

"_What! The Dalish always bath together like this. Oh no! Did I do something wrong?"_She tried to put her clothes back on until Hawk took them from her hand and hugged her.

"_No Merill you did nothing wrong. They were surprised that's all. Here look. I will take my robe as well."_With a swift move she removed her robe from the top and stood there in her smallclothes. Anders choked on his wine and Varric slapped him on the back while laughing. Hawk and Merill giggled and they run into the water holding hands.

"_You are not joining them Blondie?"_Varric poured himself another cup of wine and one for Anders.

"_Nah, I am not in the mood. Also is a bastard to remove these robes of mine. I mean, shit, have you seen the shoe laces on my boots?"_Varric chucked to himself and they sat there in silence watching the rest, laughing, while Queen Anora layed next to Anders and he stroked her belly.

Hawk was sitting on Fenris shoulders, while Merill was sitting on Carvers and they were trying to knock each other down; Isabela was the referee. Merill was not a match for Hawk as Isabela pointed out so Isabela swapped with Merill. Isabella started cheating so after an hour of arguing and laughing they decided it was a tie and they all came out except Fenris and Hawk. Anders back stiffen seeing Fenris holding Hawk's hand and kissing it while she lowered her eyes with a shy smile. Anders control yourself! He knew he was kidding himself, he knew that he had no chance with her. It was so obvious that Fenris and Hawk had something. That was for the best anyway. He was doomed, no reason to drug her down with him, she deserves happiness. She is just a child Anders, stop thinking about her! They walked out of the water holding hands but she released his when she saw him looking at them. Fenris face turned sad but he said nothing and went and sat down to nurse his wine while Hawk put her robe back on. With a quick spell she dried and warmed herself. She looked at him and gave him one of her secret smiles, the one he knew is only for him.

The sun was setting when Merill and Carver brought some wood fire and they lid it to cook the hares that Fenris and Queen Anora managed to catch for dinner. Hawk decided to go for a walk by herself. Anders saw her walking away with a blanket wrapped around her, her bare feet leaving footprints in the sand. What he didn't noticed was that Fenris was looking at the same direction, but Anders was quicker which made Fenris growl to himself. Anders went after her.

"_Hey, need company?"_She smiled at him and walked in silence for a while.

She stopped and sat down and he sat next to her. She leaned her head at his shoulder and he placed his arm around her shoulders. They sat in silence for what it looked to him forever, but he didn't care, she was in his arms, even for a while.

"_I am not her Anders. I will never be her!"_ Her voice was uneven. He froze on the spot; he didn't know what to say to her. How did she know? Did they exchange letters? He didn't know if they ever met.

"_What do you mean Hawk?"_That was all he could think to say. Hawk got up and threw a fireball at him, missing, but he wasn't sure if it was on purpose or by accident.

"_We look the same but we are different Anders! Can you comprehend that, or Justice is clouding your mind to much. You can't have her! She chose King Alistair."_ He could not see her face clearly but he could hear it in her voice that she was crying. There was no reason to lie about it. But he was getting angry, Justice was taking over.

"_We had a few months of happiness together. If you lived in the Circle you would know that a few months of happiness go a long way, especially if you never had a single happy memory in your head. So yeah! When I saw you for the first time in the clinic, I hoped, beyond hope that you were her and you came back to me. But you have one thing right. YOU ARE NOT HER! You will never be her; you are just a little girl, playing with forces she can't possibly understand! She was kind where you are mischievous; she was wise while you are fool, she has a purpose while you just drift and hope for some luck, and most importantly, she never played with people's feelings like you do. I see you with Fenris and at the same time with Isabela and the looks you gave that choir- boy, and me? What do you want from me Hawk? You are just a child and I want you gone."_He was furious, Justice, telling him that he did the right thing, and he could hear Hawks sobs behind him, seeing Fenris running at his direction.

"_She is all yours; I hope you are happy together. Hurt her, and I will break you elf!"_He went passed the others and headed back in the city, Queen Anora at his heels. Luckily they came on horses otherwiase would have been a very long and dangerous journey by himself. When he was back at his clinic the mabari left him and headed back to her home.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

Hawk didn't come to visit him, she didn't ask him to go with her to the Deep Roads; Varric told him that him, Fenris and Isabela are going. Carver was so pissed off that he threatens he will join the Templars.

"_Varric… look after her please. She is a nut- job. A careless nut-job."_ Varric chuckled and looked at Anders and he turned serious.

"_Blondie, I… I don't know what happen that night at the beach but she didn't deserve that. She is a sweet kid with a good heart. Sort yourself out around her or you will regret it. Everyone is really pissed off with you. Well except Daisy, she thought it was a lover's row, nothing more. Was it Blondie?" _Anders looked at his friend and with a bitter smile patted him on the shoulder, and then he turned away and went to check on a patient.

Varric walked away with sadness in his eyes. Anders thought is for the best. They left for the Deep Roads the next day.


	2. De Launcet Ball

Hawke was running through Lowtown like a mad woman. She missed them both so much and all she wanted was to run up to her mother hug her and tell her that she did it, that they can by the old estate back, to tell Carver that his a Lord now, and fuck, they could ask dear old cousin to make him a Ser if he really wanted. She was so happy when she came to a complete stop a few meters away from her uncle's door. Templars! What did they want? She was too late, they have found her. She heard the horror stories of Templars kill family and friends of apostate mages. She couldn't do this to her family. Very slowly she walked past them, holding her head up high and entered the house. Maker, lover of Andrastes! What the fuck! She must be dreaming.

"_So you are back!" _Carver was standing in front of her with a Templars uniform. Their mother runs up to her.

"_Oh thank the Maker! Please talk some sense into him." _Hawkes mouth was getting dry. She couldn't speak. Her own brother a Templar?

"_Carver, what are you wearing?" _He straightens his back and looked at her straight in the eye.

"_I've joined the Templar Order. There is no point in trying to talk me out of it; it is done" _Rose's eyes filled with tears, while their mother was crying behind Carver.

"_Are you sure this is wise? This isn't like being a knight." _Carvers face turned red.

"_I know that! I am not an idiot! I want to be someone. Like father wanted. Like I want. This is my chance." _But Rose knew. She understood her brother's wishes to be someone, but not like this. Their mother runs up to them with tears in her eyes. Carver puts an arm around her.

"_Carver, please! The order is so dangerous!" _Carver's eyes filled up with tears now. He didn't want to hurt his mother or his sister. He loved them more than anything, but he knew this is what he must do.

"_I'll be fine mother. You don't need to worry about me. And you don't need to worry about me turning you in. I know the value of family."_And just like that her baby brother walked out of her life. Rose chased after him.

"_Carver, what about Merill?"_Carver lowered his eyes and blushed.

"_I am doing it for her, as well as for you big sister. I am your insider now. This courtesy does extent to the healer as well, but I will keep my eyes on him sis! I love you." _Rose collapsed on the spot, tears were running uncontrollably. Her father, her sister and now her brother are abandoning her. Anders words came into her mind. You are a mischievous, foolish little girl, playing with people's feelings with no purpose in life. He was right, she didn't know why she really wanted to join the Deep Roads expedition, it looked like fun in the beginning, but now... nothing made sense and he doesn't want to see her anymore, just like her brother. Queen Anora came and sat next to her and started howling, knowing she has lost a brother as well.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

Anders was laying on his uncomfortable, lumpy and ever so small cot, and as usual he was thinking about Hawke. It's been three years since he last saw her. He has seen her around the town, public ceremonies, he even glimpsed at her at the Chantry a few times, sitting with that obnoxious choir- prince. Well at least he knew she wouldn't try her usual tricks with him, uhhh, who was he trying to deceive, of course she would. He heard about her and Isabela. Maker, what was Hawke thinking letting Isabela to touch her. He shivered just with the thought of it. The correct term will be he hasn't spoken to her for over three years now. To be completely honest with himself, he didn't even know what to say to her. Oh sorry I've been such an ass, or, oh I am in love with you because you remind me of your cousin. Shit, he was so fucked up. He didn't love her because she reminded him of Solona; he was in love with her because she was this obnoxious little girl. She was the woman that made him laugh with stupid jokes, or with her drinking games of charades, the woman that was right there next to him when mages needed their help, well, not for a while, but he knew if he asked her, she would have raced him into battle, because that's the kind of girl she is. It was all foolish dreams though; he was so deep into the Mage Resistance that he didn't dare ask her to join him. She was a respectable citizen now; he had her whole life in front of her. No, this is for the best.

Lost in his thought he didn't see or hear the small hooded figure that entered his dark clinic.

"_Anders, are you asleep?"_ Anders froze, not daring to breath. What is she doing at this godforsaken hour in Darktown, she could get hurt. Then he smiled and thought: Well she IS Hawke.

"_Anders can I talk to you?"_She shifted on her feet and turn to go.

"_I am here Hawke, what do you need to talk about? You should have waited until morning; it is not safe for you."_ He lit his arm so she could see where she was going. When he saw her, he got so concentrate looking at her that he almost set his bed on fire. Her small body was covered by a deep purple cape with a hood that covered half her face. She came closer and she pushed the hood back. She was the most beautiful think that he ever saw. Her hair has grown so long, and her eyes reflected the purple cape, giving her eyes a lavender color. She looked like a creature from the Fade; a Desire demon.

"_Hey" _That's all he managed to say to her. Hey? Maker he felt like an idiot. For the first time in his life he didn't know what to say. The man that had most women at hello was starting this woman unable to talk. Solona never made him feel so uneasy. She walked closer and she sat on his cot. He jumped up as if electricity went through his body. Oh Maker! Rose -scented perfume. He must be dreaming, this isn't happening to him. No, this is a bad joke, or a nightmare. That's right! He is in the Fade and he is imagining things.

"_So,... how's the clinic going? Do you need anything? I can help you, you know. I am not a bad healer myself."_Anders through a small fireball and lighted the candles on his small desk. She removed her cape to reveal a long purple dress, where her shoulders were exposed but the sleeves were long up to her ankles. It was plain with silver trimming and a simple thin silver belt, which reached her knees after a small knot in the front. No jewellery, except a small pendant of the Amell crest.

"_Ummm, yeah, that will be great Hawke. I am not that busy though lately, which it's a good thing if you really think about it."_ This was so painful and he was pretty sure he was gawking at her but he didn't really care, he was content there, leaning on the wall, looking at her, smelling her perfume.

"_We've missed you at The Hanged Man you know. Corff wants to be a writer now. Varric is most upset about the news, well he was, until he heard some of the stories and he decided that his job is secure. You know, after all these years I still don't quite understand what Varric does. And did you know that Merill found some kittens, if you ever wanted another cat that is. I wouldn't bring him to Darktown though; he might end up as somebody's dinner. You could keep him at my place if you like. Also did you know that Prince Sebastian of Starkhaven started hanging out with us now? He is really interesting person, well, only when he drinks enough to forget that he is a brother of the Chantry, that's when he gets really funny. What else... ummm oh and I think Aveline is eyeing that young guard we saved a few years back, what was his name, ummm... Donnic. That's what his name is. Oh sorry Anders, I am just rumbling now, I need to stop!" _She was the most adorable thing in the world. Watching her talking about mundane things that really didn't interest him, while she was sitting on his old tattered cot wearing her finery was enough to drive any man insane. Control yourself Anders! The Mage Resistance doesn't need silly little girls!

"_Also I have a huge favor to ask you. Is so stupid really, but here it goes. You see there is this Ball at the De Launcet mansion tomorrow night and I am short of an escort , companion or a date? Mother needs to attend another party and if I take Isabela or Varric they just end up doing something stupid, Merill and Fenris end up passing as my servants which angers Fenris and Merill breaks down to tears, Sebastian doesn't attend parties, apparently Andrste didn't know how to have fun, and Aveline told me to shove a canary up my coal mine, very Orlesian of her. So, all I have is well... you. Please say yes!" _Was she for real? She wants him to attend a party with her? Has she seen him lately? He hasn't shaven in couple of weeks, his clothes were stained with blood and he is an apostate and probably branded a Blood Mage.

"_Hawke, you don't want to be seen with me. I mean look at me. Also, what I am going to talk about with this people? I was brought up in the Circle remember? They don't teach you pleasantries and fancy dances. To them, I am a street rat Hawke, a mage rat."_ Hawke got up and placed her cape back on. She raised her hood and she raced out of the clinic without a single glance.

Anders felt like the retched creature that he was. She came here to build a bridge and he pushed her off that bridge. He needs to fix this and fast. He needs clothes, and proper boots, and he needed to learn a couple of dances before tomorrow night. Right, where can he get fashionable clothes, and boots and lessons? He only knew one person that could provide him with those things. Varric. Maker his going to regret this.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

"_Varric please, I need your help. I need an outfit for a ball tonight and a pair of good boots, oh and a couple of basic dances."_Varric stared him in disbelief until he started laughing so hard that he almost fell off his seat.

"_Oh Blondie, where do you get this shit? You almost had me there for a second. Hahaha! That was a good one. I am so glad to see that the renegade mage persona wasn't really paying."_Anders started to get really annoyed at Varric but he knew snapping at him will only make things worse.

"_Varric, I am not joking. Hawke came to me last night and asked me to escort her at the De Launcet Ball. Please, you are the only one that can help me."_Varric studied him, opened his mouth once to say something, he shut it and he tried again.

"_Blondie, you are not joking. By the Ancestors! Ok follow me. We need to go to Hightown for all this shit._" On their way out Isabela saw them running and she caught up with them.

"_What are you two doing running like thieves? You finally out of the closet Varric?"_Anders growled at her but Varric laughed and made her a sign to follow.

"_Well you see Rivaini, Hawke and Anders here, have a date, so Blondie here needs something more decent to wear than a feathered jacket don't you think? Also my dancing skills are not the best, so how are yours?"_Isabela's face lit up. Anders knew he was going to regret this but... he had no other choice.

They started walking through Hightown stalls and shops, until Isabela pointed at a tailor's shop.

"_Ohhh, I know him! He owns me a favor or two. Come on you two." _They entered the shop and the tailor greeted them graciously. They explained to him what they wanted and he was more than happy to help any of Isabela's friends. He removed everything but his small clothes which made Isabela purr by the sight of him. He knew his body was pleasant in the eye, even with the hundreds of scars that covered it, but he was not comfortable the way Isabela was circling him.

They were in the shop for over two hours and Anders was getting very impatient. In five hours he will be with her, but his mind was more concern that the tailor spent way too much time placing pins at his crotch. He better not make any damage or he was going to turn him to something unnatural. Isabela was circling and looking at him like a hungry shark.

"_Is it something you need Isabela?" _He gave her a look of annoyance but she chose to ignore it. She stroked him arm and traced with a finger a big scar on his back. He got that during their battle with the Mother.

"_You know Anders, I can see why Hawke likes you so much. I can't believe I haven't noticed you before. Remember our previous conversation? Handcuffs, whipped cream, me always on top? I bet is been a while for you. I can refresh your memory and I wouldn't mind trying that electricity trick of yours. I bet if Andraste had a go at it she wouldn't have been so upset with the mages. So what do you say? Even Justice can take part if he really wants to."_Anders reaction was not what Isabela expected. He grabbed her arm and pulled her close to his face, Justice appearing in his eyes for a glimpse of a second before Anders honey eyes stared back at her.

"_Don't you ever touch me or talk to me like that again you whoring pirate. I wouldn't even try to comprehend what Hawke sees in you, but she is easily persuaded into stupid and impossible situations. So you better be good to her or I will come after you."_ The words came to him without thinking but Isabela's eyes soften. Varric moved forward on his chair and moved his arm ever so slowly for Bianca.

"_Anders, me and Hawke have fun. You see, you might have forgotten how to have some;but Hawke is trying her best to have some. They will be no broken heart from my behalf. NOW, the one you should really worry is Fenris. Since you have been avoiding her for the last three years, his been getting closer to her, with walks to the beach, every time she leaves The Hanged Man escorting her home, morning walks at Hightown looking at snow balls, her new hobby by the way, don't ask, and all those nights her on top of him... teaching him how read. Now realise my arm or I will cut your hand off."_ Anders left his arm dropped and looked at Isabela, she patted him on the shoulder and she went and sat next to Varric. Varric sat back and patted Isabela on the knee, which in return she smiled back at him.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

"_NO! I prefer to chew my feet off than go and ask him for help, and anyways why will he help me? You think he would look kindly of me trying to impress Hawke? No. Absolutely and totally no."_Isabela was dragging Anders through Hightown while Varric followed behind with a stuck of wrapped bundles. He was mumbling to himself and trying to hide his face behind the bundles, hoping nobody will recognize him.

"_Come on Blondie, we don't really have time to please your stupid pride. Is good to know that you want to impress Hawke. You either ask his help or go to the Ball with Hawke and look like a tit because you can't dance, embarrassing Hawke at the same time."_Anders looked at Varric and dropped his shoulders. He was a defeated man. The whole idea was as ridiculous as him going at this ball. What was he thinking? That's right! He was thinking with his cock. He hasn't thought with it since he joined the Grey Wardens, all that stamina going to waste. NO! Your cock is what got you into this mess in the first time Anders! Turn back and go to the clinic now!

They reached the mansion and they walked in without knocking. The place was filthy, but tidy; hmmm at least his clinic was clean. His never been inside the mansion, he always stayed outside when Hawke walked in the past, which he was regretting now, giving him so much time alone with her, while he stood outside. You are a fool Anders!

Fenris was sitting in the study room by the fire place trying to read a book about the Dalish. Merill gave it to him and laughed at her, telling her that he didn't give a fig about the Dalish, but Hawke insisted that he should read it, with her help of course. He smiled remembering her warm breath near his face when she bend down to correct him. Half the time he did that on purpose just to feel her close to him. He was glad that the abomination was out of her life, but it also disturbed him that he had strong feelings for a mage. He had feelings for a woman that if she lived in Tevinter could have owned him, torture him.

He looked up and saw Varric walking up the stairs while Isabela was dragging a man at the door. What have they done now? Fasta vass! It's Anders. Why was Isabela dragging him in his house? Has the abomination done something and they want him to rip his heart out? A small smirk appeared on his lips but disappeared as quickly when he thought of Hawke. Has he done something to Rose? His tattoos lit up as he walked up at the top of the stairs to greet Varric.

"_Hey Elf how's it hanging? Hehehe, funny story. Well, you see Blondie here needs your help."_Varric pointed at Anders that looked at him with half revulsion, half embarrassment. This should be interesting, he thought. Anders looked at Fenris and thought that he might as well enjoy this, cause it sure like hell Fenris is not going to like it.

"_Fenris, I need your help. You see Hawke came to me late last night and asked me to escort her to this Ball at the De Launcet mansion. I was wondering if you coud help me with a few dancing lessons. Varric said that you are good at it."_Anders tried very hard to hide his amusement when Fenris lips draw up and showed his teeth and looked like the vulgar animal that he was, his tattoos glowing in the poorly- lidded room. Isabela jumped in the middle and hugged them both.

"_Now, now pups. I think you need to play nicely together otherwise Hawke will be one sat puppy if you don't. Now, Fenris you need to teach Anders a couple simple dances, and Anders, you need to shut up and pay attention to Fenris,... surprisingly small feet." _Varric smirked and walked up to an armchair, sat down comfortably and lit his pipe, while Isabela held Fenris and Anders by their shirt collars.

"_No, I can't teach him." _Fenris fists were tight while staring Anders with pure hate. Anders turned around and smiled.

"_It's ok Isabela, the elf doesn't know how. I wouldn't expect anything less. He is a slave after all."_Silence felt in the room. He knew his words were cruel and hurtful and he didn't regret them but he hoped Fenris will bite the bait. He started walking at the door and nobody tried to stop him.

"_WAIT! I didn't say I don't know how. I said I can't because abominations shouldn't dance... especially with Hawke. But if it will make her happy then I will do it, for her and nobody else. And Isabela, I do now have small feet, they are sufficient for an elf" _Anders face lit with a triumphant smile but disappeared as quickly as it appeared.

"_Thank you Fenris, I really appreciate it. I will try and please Hawke, with your dancing moves."_Anders gave him an innocent smile, while Varric groaned and shook his head. Fenris just growled.

"_Now place your left hand at my waist, No! Higher abomination! You will be dancing with a lady not a whore. Not offence Isabela." _Isabela shook her hands showing that not offense was taken and Fenris continued. _"Place your right one on top of by palm. Now I will be Hawke, and you will be, well, you. Although Hawke has very interesting pair of shoes, as I noted from the many parties that I attended with her, you never ever look at her feet. Oh, and Anders! Your bodies except your hands never, ever touch. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"_Anders gave him a nod and a charming smile and Fenris starts to move and count.

After two hours of shouting, stumping feet and curses Anders felt confident enough with three dances. He looked at Fenris graceful body demonstrating with Isabela, while Isabela snickered. He looked so sure, so confident to lead Isabela even though she didn't really know the moves. How can a slave have so much confidence?

"_Where did you learn to dance Fenris?_" His curiosity was genuine when he asked and no malice was portrayed on his face.

"_My master... Danarius... would have me practicing with him. Also he used me to teach Hedrianna, his pupil, amongst other people. I didn't mind it. It was a lot better than the other things he asked me to do with him."_ He let go of Isabela and he started walking up the stairs. He looked at Anders with sadness.

"_That will suffice abomination. Make sure she has a good time. But if you upset her tonight, you will answer to me."_Anders heard the threat in his tone, but he will not have this elf to have the last word.

"_Oh, but Fenris! That's exactly what you want me to do. So you could be there to pick up the pieces. I wonder elf; do you sleep at her doorstep at night? You know, lay on her doormat and hope that she will let you in? She does have a soft spot for dogs. Me, I am more of a cat person. They are more independent."_ And with that he walked at the door. He wasn't going to wait and see his reaction. Tonight he will make Hawke see him how he really is, no, how he used to be before Justice, before Solona. Anders you kid yourself!

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

Hawke was soaking in her bathtub. Orana always knew how to get the right temperature. She was staring at her new dress that was hanging outside her wardrobe. It was a gold satin one, with no sleeves to hold it but a gold chain around her neck. It was tight, in all the right places her mother said, her back half exposing her rose vine tattoo. Hopefully the wolf will be sleeping tonight. It always reacted according to her feelings. If she was angry it will growl and snarl, if she was sad it will roll into a ball and howl and when she was happy it will bark and jump around like a pup. But the worst one was when she was nervous. It will walk up and down her back and on her shoulders, like an animal in a cage not knowing what to do. It reminded her of Fenris. Nobody knew that the wolf were her emotions. Only her father understood what the Tevinter did.

She got out of the bathtub and dried herself. She wore her lace smallclothes and put on the dress, but when she looked at herself in the mirror she noticed their lining was visible. Well, no smallclothes after all. She liked the dresses, the shoes and all the finery but she hated these gatherings. Nobility is not what she imagined it to be, Beth would have loved it though. She sighted, picked her hair up and secured them with a gold hair ornament she bought this morning in the market. A couple of times she thought she saw Anders with Isabela but she knew that was impossible. She picked up her high heel sandals and placed them on her small feet. She hated her feet. There way to small but the shoemaker always managed to get them right.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Bodahn walked in. He gave her a look of approval and he added.

"_Ummm, there is an unannounced lord here to see you Mistress Hawke. Sorry he wouldn't give me his name, he is chatting with your mother downstairs."_Hawke kissed Bodahn on the forehead and walked out of door.

She walked slowly to try and spy who this rude lord was. If it was that annoying Lord Woodford she would fireball him with no remorse. She will gladly go to the Circle for that. Probably women will place a statue in her memory. As she drew closer to the railings she heard his voice.

"_Lady Hawke, always a pleasure seeing you. You look stunning this evening. Will you be accompanying us tonight? I look forward dancing with you."_ Her mother laughed but informed him that she was invited to a different party and it will be just him and Rose. Hawkes heart was beating quicker and quicker, her wolf pacing up and down, climbing on her shoulder, snarling at her ear. She moved closer and saw him. Maker! She needs to start breathing. He looked... mesmerizing. She couldn't remove her eyes from him.

A soft stubble shadowed his smooth face while his hair was in his usual ponytail and a gold earring on his right ear. She smiled at the sight of it. His clothes were well tailored and she knew he couldn't afford so she made a mental note to thank Varric. He was wearing a pair of black boots, and his black leather trousers,oh so snugged against his legs and umm, oh my... with a belt that had a sword attached to it. Can he even use that sword? She laughed and he turned his gaze up and looked at her. A roguish smile appeared on his lips. He walked in the middle of the room with his arms raised on his side while he turned around a couple of times for inspection. His white laced sleeves and collar shirt wwas popping from his tight leather jacket. A black cape was resting on a chair. She laughed and clapped in approval.

She walked down the stairs and he met her at the bottom with a bouquet of white roses. She smelled their sweet perfume and suddenly tiny butterflies flew through them and disappeared into thin air. She laughed and giggled like a little girl as she stood at her toes to place a kiss on his cheek.

"_Being a mage has its advantages. I heard anyway. You look amazing Hawke. I mean wow. Can you go around town like this instead of your usual robes? I mean this town needs some class!"_He took her hand and with a small bow he kissed it. He was perfect.

"_Now off you go dear, and try and have a good time you two. I know I will."_ said her mother while she escorted them out. Anders helped her with her white cape and once he put on his they walked out.

"_Ready to do this mage?"_Hawke asked him with a grin on her face.

"_It can't be worse than fighting Templars!"_He replied with a wink and they started walking to the mansion.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

Once they entered the mansion everyone turned and looked at them. They looked prefect together, two apostates, she looked perfect at his side. For a second he imagined himself being with her like this, married with a couple of children, attending parties, going picnics with their friends. You are a foolish man Anders! A slap back to reality. No, he was an apostate mage, a Grey Warden, possessed by a spirit that every day was turning into the spirit of Vengeance not Justice.

"_Lady Hawk and her companion, Master Anders."_ Anders looked around and everyone bowed low at them. He returned the bow and walked in with Hawke at his arm.

Tonight will be about her. He will not bring up the Mage oppression. He will not hustle her with his problems. He will drink and dance with her, he will laugh with her and he will make her happy. For just one night only, yes, and then he will ask nothing from her again because he wants her to be happy.

Nobility bowed to her, Templars kissed her hand, men desired her and women envied her. She laughed with their stupid jokes, she drank their wine through crystal cups, and she ate their food. The servants circled her as a gold coin here and a gold coin there fell discreetly and "accidentally" into their trays. She will give him her secret smile or kiss his cheek but she will never leave his arm. He could see men envied him and he was happy and proud to have her at his side. A Templar is coming your way Anders! Anders turned around and he froze on the spot. Cullen.

"_Lady Hawke, a pleasure to see you as always." _He kissed her hand and looked at Anders. He smiled at him and he continued. "_Anders! I have heard that you were friends with Lady Hawke but I never had the pleasure to see you at her company."_Cullens smile was not cruel or malicious but his tone was cautious. _"Your brother sends his regards Lady Hawk. He misses you dearly."_ Hawke laughed at the last one.

"_Dear Cullen, we both _know_ that my brother missed this Ball BECAUSE he wanted to avoid me, as to the fact that he is missing me... well, he may come and visit anytime he wants. My doors are open to all Templars."_Anders looked at her with disbelief, what was she saying to this Templar? She is welcoming Templars to her house now? But she is a mage. She is their pawn Anders!

"_Lady Hawk, may I make an observation? As you know and I think Anders will agree with me but your resemblance to your cousin is astounding. Solona Amell was a very special woman to me you know, she even saved my life."_Cullen's eyes glazed for a bit before he shook his head and continued. _"My Lady, care to dance with me?"_and Hawke for the first time during the whole night let go of him arm.

He watched her walking away from him, her wolf growling and snarling at an unknown threat, placing her slender, delicate and deadly little fingers on this man's body and they danced together. She laughed as they turned round and round, him whispering in her ear. Did he imagine that he was dancing with Solona, or does Cullen know that he is dancing with Hawke? Could Cullen talk to Hawke without once thinking of Solona? Because he couldn't. She is the enemy now Anders you know it!NO! He walked up to the couple and tapped Cullen on the shoulder.

"_Excuse me Templar for cutting in but I have been here all night with this beautiful woman and I haven't danced with her once. I mean I even took dancing lessons for Makers Sake. Is not like they teach you to Foxtrot in the Circle, do they Cullen." _Cullen took a couple of seconds to recover but he bowed to Hawke and Anders and he walked away in silence. Anders took Cullen's spot and started dancing with her. Hawke smiled at him and then laughed at how mechanically and awkwardly he danced. She leaned close to him and she whispered in his ear, her warm breath on his skin.

"_Remind me to thank Fenris for the dancing lessons, His the one that taught me to dance as well you know. He is so graceful when he dances."_ Anders looked at her with bewilderment in his eyes. What in the Makers name was she doing?

He grabbed her hand and started pulling her though the nearest door, which to his bad luck was the kitchen. He looked around with a wild look and the servants pointed another door, which he went through without letting go Hawkes hand. The next door leaded to small balcony with flowers and citrus trees. Hawke looked at Anders, which he let go of her hand and he was mumbling to himself. He looked up at her and they were tears in his eyes.

"_How can you do this Hawke? I can see that this doesn't make you happy. This is not who you are. Walking around Templars, whispering into their ears sweet words, noblemen staring at you like a priced pony, lust in their eyes. Since when do you prefer the Templars over your own people? Solon... you shouldn't accept that."_She slapped him. She was crying, but her wolf tattoo moved on her shoulder, and it was howling, growling and snarling at him, moving from one shoulder to the other. What magic is this! She started moving backwards away from him.

"_Say it Anders SAY IT!. Solona wouldn't accept it. Well I have news for you mage! She does accept it; she whispers sweet words to a Templar every night. You know King Alistair used to be Templar right? Oh yes, and he whispers back at her, amongst other things" _the wolf howled a heart- breaking howl before it started showing its teeth at him once again._"You want to know why I let the Templars near me, why I let them surround me? There is an old saying Anders: "Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer". Have you ever heard of it? Oh, did it ever occur to you why the Templars always seem to pass by your clinic without stopping to inspect it? You think is Justice that keeps them away or Solona? No Anders, it's me! Rose Hawke. You know, I thought if I invited you tonight, you will see me who I truly am, to love me for who I am, not because I remind you of my cousin. But you never will. Carver felt my shadow was over him, he can't imagine how it feels to know that the person that I care most, when he sees me, he sees her, to be compared with her, and every day someone would pass me for the great Hero of Ferelden."_ She stopped moving and she was leaning on the railings. She was sobbing uncontrollably.

Anders was staring at her numbly. She was right; she wasn't Solona Amell, she was the beautiful, wild Rose Hawke. The woman that is been helping him with the Mage Resistance and their plight since day one. He never asked her to but she did. She protected him from the Templars, which ultimately kept Justice at bay. What a fool of a man he was? It was suppose to be her night. He was supposed to make her happy. Fenris won, Fenris knew that Anders will always make Rose miserable. He needs to stay away from her once and for all. Good Anders!QUIET JUSTICE!

Anders run up to Hawke and grabbed her face in his hands and he kissed her. Her lips soft and sweet, her perfume surrounding him. She pressed her body on his and she responded to his kiss. She was hungry for him, and he kissed her deep, savoring her, feeling her warmth, feeling her shivering at his touch, the wolf on her shoulder, rolled into a ball whimpering and howling in pain. Maker he wanted her, but he couldn't have her. He removed his lips from hers and she moaned. Anders kissed Hawkes forehead, hold her in his arms for a few more precious moments and then he walked away. Leaving her all alone, her wolf howling in pain.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

Hawke walked slowly back home. Queen Anora carried her shoes and whimpered at her mistress, trying to ease her pain. Nothing could ease Hawkes pain anymore. He was utterly lost to her. She understood that, she accepted that now. What a foolish little girl she truly was. What did she actually expect that he was going to do? Sweep her off her feet and run with her in his arms. She was laughing with her own stupidity when Bodahn open the door for her. He dropped her cape in his arms and headed for her room.

"_Ummmm... Mistress Hawke there..."Hawke looked at him and shook her head._

"_Whatever it is, it can wait until tomorrow."_She didn't care; all she wanted was to die. She could go to the Gallows and ask them to turn her to a Tranquil, that way she could never feel again. Why did he kiss her if he didn't love her, maybe he imagined kissing her when it kissed her. She swore if she ever came face to face with Solona Amell she would rib her heart out and feed it to Queen Anora. The image made her laugh as she entered her room. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice the elf sitting by the fireplace. The minute the door shut behind her the pain grew uncontrollable. She collapsed on the floor and started crying. Fenris jumped from the chair that he was sleeping and picked her in his arms.

"_Hawke, are you ok? What's the matter? Are you hurt? Shall I bring you a health poultice?" _He placed her on her bed and started checking her body for any injuries but he found none and then he noticed the wolf. The wolf was staring at him, studying him, it whined at him and run down her dress to hide. He has seen this kind of magic in Tevinter before. Slaves usually have them so their masters know how they feel. How Hawke ended up with one is beyond him, but he could read it very well. She was in pain. Anders! He stood next to the bedpost staring at her while she was crawled into a ball and when her sobbing gone quieter he asked her:

"_What did that abomination done to you? Give me the word and I will rib his heart out for you. No more tears little bird, please"_ Fenris meant every word. Hawke just shook her head but she kept crying. Fenris was at lost, he never had to comfort anybody, and nobody ever comforted him, not that he could remember anyway. _"Command me to leave and I will Hawke." _That's all he could think to say. That's all he knew.

"_No, just lay next to me and hold me."_Fenris heart flattered. Hawke wanted him to share her bed? Memories of Danarius flickered in front of his eyes. No! Hawke is different. Hawke needed him because a mage hurt her. He removed his armor, placed it on her desk and sat on her bed uncomfortably. Hawke got up and unbuttoned her dress and it dropped on the floor like liquid gold. Maker she was beautiful, standing there in front of him, naked, only for his eyes. He looked away blushing. It was different playing their kissing games in The Hanged Man with Isabela or try to provoke that abomination. But he couldn't stop thanking that abomination for sending her his way. He had the final word after all.

Hawke turned his head at her direction and she unbuttoned his shirt, he didn't fight, but he wasn't making it easy for her either. Suddenly he jumped up and grabbed her from the waist and placed her legs around his naked waist, and he kissed her. Not like the kisses in The Hanged Man, these kisses were feral, angry, hungry his tattoos lighting up while she felt her magic charging up without commanding it. With a swift turn, he through her on the bed and climbed on top of her, he kissed her face, her neck, he sucked and bit her nipples, her magic simmering inside her his tattoos brightening the whole room. He was not gentle with her, but she didn't want him to be, he needed him now and he was there for her. He was always there when she needed him. He was always there to pick her up, to care for her even though he knew he cared for someone else.

His fingers found her warm moist entrance and she moaned. He remembered the nights that Denerius called him in his bed and his tattoos will light up for him as well. Feeling his adrenaline running through him like fire in his vein but he knew this time was different. He loved this mage under him, this mage craved his touch because she cared, Danarius just tortured him. He found her lips again and he kissed her, wishing that she was his. Hawke pushed him over her and he lay flat on the bed, and he panicked. What was Hawke doing? Why was she pushing him away? She smiled at him with a sad smile and she unbuttoned his trousers. With a swift pull they were off, trousers and his smallclothes. Hawke drew her breath seeing that his tattoos were also entwined in his penis. She smiled at him and she lay next to him, kissing him when he felt her conjuring an electricity spell. He looked at her in horror.

"_Trust me!"_He shook his head and closed his eyes. Suddenly this extreme emotion came over him. He opened his eyes and saw Hawke sucking his penis, it felt good, small electrical pulses were entwining with his lyrium tattoos. He felt ecstatic; nobody ever pleased him or cared much about it but... By the Maker he could die right now happy.

Fenris stopped her and pushed her on the bed and entered her with force. She screamed and Fenris smiled, and kissed and bit her lips, while his hands played with her nipples, his tattoos were playing with her magic, driving her insane, and every thrust of his she felt her magic inside her sizzling like hot lava. His thrusts became quicker and more violent but she didn't care, she lost count how many times she finished, but again, she didn't care.

Hawks face was red, her body was boiling hot, a naked goddess under him and he loved her. Forget Danarius, he had her now, she was his. He emptied inside her with a violent thrust while she was biting down her shoulder. When he looked at her again he noticed that half her body was hanging off the bed, blood dripping from her shoulder. He laughed and pulled her up and she returned the smile. They lay in bed, her laying on his chest, playing with his tattoos, when he felt her relax. He looked at her wolf and it was asleep, she was sleeping. He kissed her forehead and she moved ever so slightly.

"_I love you Anders." _That's all she said.

Fenris eyes filled with tears that started running down his cheeks. He can't have her after all, not completely, and he felt selfish. If he is going to have her he wants her heart as well as her body, if he wanted just a body he would've gone to Isabela. No, he wanted Rose, his wild beautiful flower, his little bird. She was so small in his arms, her silver hair, the same as his. He wondered how come her hair is the same color as his. Magic did that to him, did magic do that to her as well?

Fenris got up and started getting dress when Hawke moved and looked at him with puffy eyes.

"_Where are you going?" _Fear and sadness was portrayed on her face.

"_This is wrong Hawke, I was supposed to comfort you and I used you. I will only bring you pain. I am a runaway elf slave, you are Lady Hawk. No Rose, don't make this worse please."_She was crying.

He opened the door and he run downstairs and out in the cold air. Maker, he was as bad as Anders, no, he was worse than Anders, at least Anders walked away before he even tasted her. He was smarter man than him, because now he just walked away from the only person that made him truly happy.

Hawke was laying naked on her bed crying silence tears. Tomorrow she will walk to the Gallows and she will request to become a Tranquil. There was nothing to it.

* * *

_A/N: Sorry about the extra long chapter but I couldn't stop writing. Also __Fenris t_eaching Anders to dance had to be mentioned, HEHEHE, . But another problem appeared while I was writing. I feel for Fenris as well now. *snif* So I am conflicting in my heart if Rose should end up with Anders or Fenris or shall I make her a Tranquil and be done with._ Ideas?  
_

_Who knows... Anders might get a pussy... cat after all;)  
_

_R&R please. Be critical and judgmental but nice about it. Love you all  
_


	3. The Chantry

Anders decided it was a good time to start drinking again, probably shit-faced drinking. He hasn't done it for... years. It was at the early hours of the morning and he knew The Hanged Man will be mostly empty, but most importantly Varric will be asleep and Isabela probably whoring somewhere. He pushed the door open and he walked into the badly- lighted room where three patrons were drinking quietly in the shadows. He walked up at Croff and ordered a mug of ale and sat at the table by the stairs that led to the rooms. It was eerie how quiet it was, but he was content with his ale. Anders stop this foolishness! QUITE JUSTICE!

He was on his third mug when the door opened and Fenris burst in. Shit! He was not in the mood for him now but if he was itching for a fight he will gladly comply. But Fenris didn't even look at him. He run up into Varric's room and shut the door behind him. Hmmm! That was odd. Anders got up and walked at the door and placed his ear on it. The speech was muffled so he conjured a spell and it became clear.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

"_I fucked it up big time Varric! That abomination will pay for it."_ Fenris said while he was pacing up and down.

Varric was still in bed, wearing just his trousers but he was awake enough to know this has something to do with Hawke. This girl and her men were driving him insane. When he started hanging out with her she was this care free girl, everything was a sport but know... still fun as ever, but, uhhh, his head was spinning.

"_So let me get this straight! You fucked up but Blondie has to pay? Elf, you make as much sense as a darkspawn tries to write a love poem. Blondie went to the Ball with her and..." _Fenris looked at him with a startle. It was like he just noticed him.

"_Well I don't know what he did to her but she came home in tears. I went to her house and waited for her in her room. I knew the abomination will do something stupid. Anyway, I... comforted her and... well we...made love, well it was more fucking but my point is, ummm, when she fell asleep she called out his name. HIS name Varric, so I got up and left her and now she probably hates me, but I couldn't stay knowing that she loves him and not me."_Varric looked at him in disbelief. He expected that from Blondie but Fenris feelings were quite straightforward when it came to Hawke.

"_You were in bed with Hawke, and you got up, got dressed and left her there. By the ancestors! I am surrounded by idiots. You had Hawke naked in her bed, the woman that in your drunkenness declared that she is a gift from the Maker. YOU LEFT!Why Elf? You could have made her love you, in time, but now, Fenris, you broke her heart you fool." _Varric got up and started getting dressed. He needed to go to Hawke, these fools will ruin her, she was his true and only real friend, and she was getting dragged down through a mud pit called oppression by these fools.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

Anders couldn't believe his ears. He walked away and started heading at the exit. His Hawke, with that beast! She is not yours Anders! Their bodies entwined together in her bed, her naked flesh under his hands, in his arms and those lips of hers on his. Fenris words ringed in his ears "We made love, well, it was more fucking". He wanted to run in and set the elf on fire but there was no point, he made a choice to abandon Hawke, and yet, this beast used her, used their pain to get his way with her. Hawke was not a virgin and she was not a stranger when it came to sex, far from it, she probably could give Isabela a run for her money, but Hawke had feelings where Isabela probably had none. He needs to comfort her; she needed someone to properly comfort her.

He was running through Hightown, still quite and beautiful, shit, he never realized how far The Hanged Man was from her house, all those nights she walked home alone with just Queen Anora. Anders you fool, go back to the clinic! He came to a hold in front of her house door. He drew a sharp breath and burst in, running up the stairs, Bodahn voice an inaudible in his ears, and straight in her bedroom. Makers tits!

She was laying face down, uncovered and utterly naked like the day she was born, the sheets tangled and hanging on the floor and images of her and Fenris run through his mind; "it was more fucking". He is going to kill the elf. The wolf moved before she did but once she saw him surprise was in her face that was replaced with anger, her wolf snarling at him. She didn't make a move to cover herself. She got up, gracefully as a swan, her silvery white hair streaming at her back, walked to the door and called for Orana to prepare her bath, completely ignoring him, completely ignoring what her naked body was doing to him. She walked back and sat at the edge of the bed.

"_Anders, what are you doing here? I think you made yourself clear last night."_She was hurt but she wasn't going to show him.

He was just staring her. She got up again and walked up to him her arms swaying at her side. _"I said, what are you doing here? I have things to do."_ Anders was getting angry with her now, this girl is not heart- broken, "Just fucking".

"_Like fucking with your wolf last night? Are you sharing him with Isabela or is it just the two of you? I mean Isabela has been such a role model for you. I thought you loved me, but obviously any cock will do."_Slap! Tears were running down her eyes, her wolf whimpering. Orana walked in filled up Hawkes bathtub and walked out as quietly as she entered. Hawke walked up to him, her naked body touching his and she stood on her tip toes and placed her mouth near his ear and whispered:

"_How dare you! You are the one that played with my feelings, pushing me away and then kissing me like your dear life was hanging on that kiss, and then walked away leaving me like a toy you had enough. And yes, Fenris and I fucked, oh and it was sooo good. But is none of your business. You do not own me Anders, you lost your chance. Anyways, Fenris left me as well, but is ok. I am only good for fucking by the looks of it. Now if you have nothing to say than to insult me I want you the fuck out of here. I have things to do."_ And slowly she walked away, leaving him trembling with the sensation of her naked body on his. But her words were like knives on his heart.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

Varric was getting ready to knock on Hawkes bedroom door when Anders walked out, trembling with tears in his eyes. He went passed him without a glance, looking like a ghoul.

"_Anders what..."_Anders kept walking, ignoring him. Maker, he could swore that Hawkes love life was like an Orlesian novel. All it needed now was Hawke to kill herself... shit. Varric walked in and found Hawke having... a bath? She looked up at him startled but when she recognized him she gave him a sad smile. He pulled a chair facing her, he lid his pipe and stared at Hawke, sitting in a scolding hot bathtub crying her eyes out.

"_Hawke...what the hell is going on? Anders, then Fenris, then Anders again? I mean you must have the stamina of a Grey Warden, without the tainted blood, that's amazing."_ She smiled at him but she didn't say a world, she kept scrubbing her shoulders with her wash cloth.

"_OK! Care to explain me why have men crying in my room because of you, and you sit here crying by yourself? I mean I know the De Launcets are freaks but... come on, their Ball was a hood. I heard anyways."_She stopped scrubbing and looked up at him, her tears running down her cheeks.

"_Varric, we both know that there are no men crying in your room because of me, as for me and Anders I can confidently say, we are done. As for me and Fenris, well it's complicated. But don't worry, after today, nobody will worry much about me."_ She got out of the bathtub, Varric looking away, this woman is shameless, and stunning, for a female human.

She walked up to her wardrobe and took out some old tattered robes and put them on. What the hell was Hawke playing at?

"_Hawke... why are you wearing that? Where are you going?"_Varric was getting really worried now, he never saw his friend like this before. His stomach was tying itself into knots, his heart lipped into his mouth. _"You are going to the Gallows aren't you? Fuck... Hawke, listen to me, whatever you are thinking is not worth it. Hawke..., Hawke... ROSE listen to me!" _He pulled her arm to stop her from walking out of the room. Her eyes were empty, dead. Shit! He needs help, Aveline, yes and Merrill, and Sebastian, no Sebastian will think is a good idea. Anders!

Hawke walked out of her bedroom, Varric hovering around her like an annoying fly. She walked up to her mother and gave her a kiss.

"_I am going to the Gallows to see Carver. See you tonight, love you." _ Such an empty world really, people use it so casually. Oh, I love that dress! Oh, I love flowers! They don't really love the flowers or the dress they like it a lot but why would anybody say that they love them. They can't marry them; they can't live with them happily ever after. Flowers will wither and the dress will eventually get old and tattered like her robes. She was not scared but she was sad. Suddenly she had the urge to go the Chantry; she started running with Queen Anora at her heels.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

Hawke walked into the Chantry and the smell of flowers surrounded her. She hated it here; she couldn't understand how Sebastian could stand it with the giant statue of Andraste gazing down at them, judging them with a sword at hand. Andraste wasn't the chaste girl that the Chantry made her to be. She had a husband and Hawke was pretty sure they had sex, and the Maker fell in love with her because if her singing? Yeah right! She was also a warrior; she killed mages, so it made no sense to her how the Maker and Andraste could love her, a mage? She remembered her discussions with Anders and how they laughed with the stupidity of the whole thing. But here she is, at the house of the Maker.

"_Lady Hawke, so good to see you again! And so early!"_ she turned around and Sebastian was standing behind her in his Chantry robes. Yes it was a good idea to come to Sebastian.

"_Brother Sebastian, I need a word with you if you have some time."_Sebastian's face lit up from excitement but he could see a shadow at her usual glittering icy eyes.

"_Of course Hawke anything for you." _And he meant it. His feelings for Hawke were more than the Maker would have allowed but he had the urge to save her. Her wild drinking nights, her regular visits at the Blooming Rose, her flirting and kissing, he remembered when she kissed him.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

They were in Varric's room drinking, as usual, after their return from the Wooded Coast, he drank more than he should have but Hawke can be very persistent, but he enjoyed her wolfish smile when he accepted his fifth ale. She sat next to him and she placed her head on his shoulder and he could smell her rose- scented perfume with ale and... dry blood. He panicked, he never felt like this before. Maker forgive me!

"_So... Brother Sebastian, what does the Chantry say about sex?"_She smiled innocently at him and at the corner of his eye he could see Isabela moving closer like a cat circling her prays. She sat across them, her eyes, glowing.

"_Yes choir- boy, how did the Maker woo the beautiful Andraste? Did he come down from heaven hard on her?"_ he flushed and looked at Hawke, looking at him.

"_Well, ummm, the Chantry, says, that... ummmm, sex,... I mean love making, is a sacred union of a man and a woman ... after they have exchanged their vows in front of the Maker."_ He decided to ignore Isabelas comment, she was always so vulgar, but Hawke never asked him anything like this before, he was baffled more than anything. Hawke licked her lips and looked him under her eyelashes.

"_And what does the Chantry say about kissing?"_ she moved closer to him, feeling her breath on his face, he shut his eyes for a second and when he opened them Hawke was kissing him, and in his surprise he kissed her back. He pulled her up on his lap and crabbed her face in his hands. So soft, so delicious, Oh Maker this is so right! No! He pushed her away and got up. Isabela was laughing, tears running down her cheeks, Varric was just shaking his head, as a father would, Merrill was staring at them and Fenris was growling. Hawke was staring at him with astounded eyes.

"_Hawke, I am so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I... shit. I need to go. Hawke, Rose, I am so sorry. It was out of line."_He picked up his bow from the floor and in the process he knocked his mug of ale on Hawke's white robes. Oh Maker please, strike me down, NOW! He could hear Isabela making a comment that she knew with WHAT he was thinking, Varric looked shocked and Fenris and Merrill were amused with the whole situation. Hawke jumped but she wasn't smiling, she barked at Isabela to control herself and she pulled him out of the room.

"_Sebastian, I am sorry. I should have never kissed you. It was wrong. I don't know why I did it. You are a brother of the Chantry and I didn't respect that. I will understand if you don't want to see me again."_ She looked so upset, like a little flower, well a bruised flower, her eye was turning blue after she got hit by a bandit with the hilt of a sword. He managed to stick an arrow in his neck just in time or he would have killed Hawke. He stroked her cheek careful not to touch the bruising.

"_Is not your fault, remember I kissed you back. Anyway, I quite enjoyed it, but let's not do it again, the Maker will not be happy with me." _she gave him a wolfish smile and she was back to her usual self again.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

"_Sebastian, what I wanted to say is that... I... Need you to forgive me. I was not a good Andrastian and I need absolution before I go to the Gallows."_ She feels tears feeling her eyes but she must see this thing through, she decided it was the best for everyone and Sebastian is going to help her, he is a good friend and the only one that would understand.

"_Hawke, I ... can't give you absolution only Grand Cleric Elthina can do that! Hawke, why do you want absolution before you go to the Gallows? You go there all the time." _Sebastian was getting worried. Hawke was going to do something stupid he could see it. No, he needed to stop her.

"_We are friends right? You will respect my wishes, even if you do not agree with them?" _now her tears were running down her cheeks, a sobbing coming from her throat.

"_Rose what's the matter! Talk to me!" _Sebastian was afraid; Hawke was crying and she needed him to comfort her. She looked up and she started telling him about Anders before the Deep Roads, Anders after the Deep Roads, the Ball, and Fenris and then Anders again. Maker she loved Anders and he keeps pushing her away. And then she told him what she is planning to do. Shock and panic crabbed Sebastian's soul. Maker no! Not Hawke!

"_Rose, are you listening to yourself? Because of a broken heart you want to throw everything away? You think you are the first one that hurts because someone played with their feelings? OK! Listen what we will do. Ummm... Stay in the Chantry tonight. I will give you some robes, and ummm... pray with us and if you still want to do it tomorrow I will go with you, yes?"_ Hawke panicked, even Sebastian was trying to stop her, why nobody cares of what she wants? No, nobody knew how she felt, how her heart was smashed in millions of pieces and nothing can mend it anymore. But she will stay in the Chantry tonight; she will get her absolution from this.

"_OK"_

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

Varric was running up the stairs of the Viscount's Keep, huffing and puffing, while Merrill was skipping in front of him. Paragons Balls! He could not understand how Daisy managed to survive for this long. When he told her what Hawke was aiming to do, all she said was "I want to come and see Carver." She wouldn't believe what Hawke wanted to do. He shook his head at the thought and wondered how the world will be if everyone was like Daisy. She stopped and looked at him

"_So Varric, why are we here exactly? We went to the Gallows and Hawke wasn't there. Neither Carver nor Cullen has seen her. She is not at her mansion and she is not at The Hanged Man. Ohhhh she could be at the Blooming Rose! Hey, have you realised that Hawke has the same name as the ummm, friendly establishment?" _Varric snorted as the irony was not lost to him, but he was really getting agitated. Where the fuck was she! They been searching for her for the last four hours and Blondie seemed to disappear as well as Rivaini and the Elf was sulking at his mansion.

"_Well you see Daisy, being friends with the guard- captain does have some advantages, for example, breaking down doors in the mane of the law and we both know that Aveline is fucking good at it. We get Aveline and then we go to the Blooming Rose, cause sure like hell I am really running out of ideas!"_ he said and he shook his head as Merrill continued with her skipping.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

Aveline was sitting in her office when Varric and Merrill burst the door open, and run at her. Varric looked pale and out of breath, while Merrill was, well, Merrill.

"_Guard- Captain we have a problem!" _Varric said and collapsed on a chair opposite her.

"_Varric, if you came here to tell me that you want my help to seize ownership of The Hanged Man you are deluded as usual." _But Varric's voice had an edge, warning her it was more than that.

Varric took a deep breath and started telling her what accrued the last two days with Anders , the Ball and Fenris and then Anders again. He continued telling her about his discussion with Hawke in her bedroom and her decision.

Aveline's face turned as red as her hair. She couldn't believe what her friend planed to do. Not her friend, no, more than that, her baby sister. Rose and Leandra were the only family she had and sure as Andraste's flaming arse she was not going to loose her. She jumped off her seat, grabbed her sword and shield and walked out of the door while turning around and call to her companions

"_So? What are you waiting for? Blooming Rose now!" _and she run out.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

Anders was deep in thought, when she heard some familiar voices behind him and he turned to look who it was. They looked like the start of a very bad joke. A dwarf, an elf and a guard walked on the street when... no, he couldn't think anything smart to say about it. It was indeed a very bad joke. He didn't want them to see him; all he wanted was to return back to his small clinic, the sun was setting down so hopefully they wouldn't be any patients waiting for him, strip off these ridiculous clothes, his being wearing them since last night. He couldn't believe that in less than twenty- four hours Hawke was having fun with him. He couldn't believe that less than twenty- four hours ago he kissed her and she melted in his arms and for a few seconds she was his. Most importantly he realised, that for the first time in years he didn't think of Solona Amell, only Rose Hawke. He smiled at the thought, but it was a bitter smile. His life style could not afford to love Solona or Rose Amell.

"_ANDERS! ANDERS! What the fuck mage? I've been calling you for the last two minutes." _Anders turned around with a startled, seeing Aveline walking up to him. Fuck!

"_What is it Aveline? You finally decided to arrest me? I am really tired, pissed off and I just want to go home."_ He couldn't care less now of what this she-man wanted from him.

"_Is Hawke! She is gone missing. We can't find her anywhere. She left this morning from her house and told Varric that she was going to the Gallows. So far she didn't turn up there, she is not at The Hanged Man, she is not at home, or the Blooming Rose, she is not at Fenris so we have no idea where she went. Anders she is planning to ..." _Anders looked at her with horror in his face. What did they mean Hawkes gone missing? No, no, no, no!

"_Ummmm, did you send someone to check the Bone Pit? or maybe the Wounded Coast. She likes going there." _Aveline looked at him with disappointment in her eyes.

"_Yes, I sent two patrols at each; they reported an hour ago that they didn't find her." _Aveline replied and lowered her eyes. Then she shot her head up and punched him straight in the face and fell flat on the ground. Aveline started kicking him and telling him to get up. Merrill and Varric pulled her twice off him and twice she attacked him again. Anders didn't care. He deserved it; he broke Hawke so bad she walked to the arms of the Templars for good.

"_Is all your fault mage! All she wanted was for you to love her. Maker knows why! So you took her heart, and stabbed it over and over again... and then... just in case...oh I don't know, you jumped and stomped on it... oh, just to be sure is completely and utterly broken and then you through it back at her. And for ever reason she passed it to Fenris, wait until I get my hands on him, decided to fuck it and pass it back to her again."_ Aveline was breathing was like she was fighting a swarm of darkspawn.

Anders knew, that's exactly what he did, but it was not intentional. Even Merrill looked upset and started crying, while Varric started asking around the market if anybody has seen her. Nothing! They stayed quiet for a few minutes until Anders jumped up.

"_Makers Balls and Andraste's titis! Did you check in the Chantry? She goes now and again when she is pissed off or...upset."_He started running, pushing people out of the way. Shit, if anything happens to her he will never forgive himself. Varric, Aveline and Merrill followed him, their faces also an expression of agony.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

Anders burst through the Chantry doors, which got the attention of everyone in the Chantry. Luckily it was just brothers and sisters of the Chantry, when he started shouting.

"_Has anyone seen Lady Rose Hawke, please, Brothers and Sisters, has anyone seeing her? Has anyone seen my...love?" _finished with a whisper. Nobody replied but he saw Sebastian, fidgeting on his spot.

"_YOU! Choir- boy prince. Yeah I heard about you. What was your name? Sebastian was it? Where is she? Did she come to you?" _Sebastian put his arms up to calm Anders but Anders picked him from the collar of his robes and shook him. He felt her magic and aura before he heard her.

"_Anders leave Sebastian alone. He was just protecting a friend. What are you doing here? What is everyone doing here? Is praying time and we all know none of you is religious enough to be here." _She smiled at him but her smile did not reach her eyes. This is a broken Hawke, not the Hawke he fell in love with, and is his entire fault.

"_Well neither are you. Fuck Rose, sorry for the language choir- boy, what are you doing here, dress with the Chantry robes? Is it a kinky new skim of yours to get Sebastian in your bed as well?"_ Slap! Yeah, he knew he deserved that. Hawke was crying and Sebastian had his arms around her in a flash. _"Anyway I thought you were going to the Gallows, I mean don't get me wrong , I prefer you here than the Circle but... please Hawke stop crying, I didn't mean it"_ he moved forward to touch her face but she moved back.

"_NO! Stay away Anders. You have done enough. And yes I was going to the Gallows but Sebastian asked me to stay at the Chantry to think it over, and if I felt the same way tomorrow he will go with me."_Sebastian stood straight and looked Anders straight in the eye. Little prick.

"_Sebastian please, can I speak to Hawke in private please. Rose please, five minutes and I will leave you alone. Please?" _he started walking forward when Sebastian stood in front of Hawke but Hawke took Sebastian's hand and kissed it with smile. She looked at Anders and with her head she pointed at the room behind him.

Anders followed Hawke in silence in front of the whole Chantry. Even Grant Cleric Altheana gave him an approving smile. What for he had no idea but somehow he felt better, more confident so he rushed up grabbed Hawkes hand and pulled her in the room.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

It was a small room with hundreds of candles and a small altar with a statue of Andraste kneeing and a small mat on the floor for praying.

Hawke pulled her arm out of his grip. What in the Makers' cock did he want from her? He made himself perfectly clear that he didn't love her, so what is he doing here. And why, oh why, is he still wearing his clothes from last night? She walked away from him and went and stood in the corner by the altar, she crossed her arms around her chest and waited.

Anders' hand felt cold without hers. He run his hands through his hair and started pacing up and down. Shit! So now what! He had no idea what to tell her. He looked up at her and he choked. The candle light was highlighting her beautiful smooth features of her face while her hair glowed. Her eyes looked like were on fire. Maker he loved her so much!

He fell on his knees and started crying. He didn't know what to say to her. He covered his face with his hands and cried. He cried for Solona Amell, he cried for his lost friend Justice, he cried for Rose Hawke, the only woman that ever really understood him and really, truly loved him

Hawke froze on the spot. Why is Anders on the floor crying? She walked up slowly to him and she placed her hands on top of his head. His sobbing continued but now he was hugging her knees.

"_I am so sorry Rose for everything. Please forgive me! I didn't mean all those cruel things I said. I don't know why I said them. I was hurt and I love you but... but... I felt if I was with you I will do something and you will leave me or even worse I will hurt you. I don't deserve you, but I love you, I love you Rose Hawke so much."_Anders didn't dare look at her while he was saying all this. He knew there will be only hate in her eyes and he didn't want to see that.

What Anders did not expect though was Hawke falling on her knees and cup his face in her small deadly hands.

"_Anders... Anders look at me please." _Anders timidly looked up the face in front of him. Hawkes eyes were red and puffed from all the crying of the last two days, she looked exhausted but Maker she was beautiful.

"_Anders, I fell in love with you the minute I laid eyes on you. And then I fell in love with your passion for freeing the Mages, to free me, so I can love who ever I want. And I want you Anders, It was always you love, but I cannot be with you because you still have feelings for my cousin. I am not her, I will never be her. I am so sorry that she broke your heart. I promise if I ever see her I will zap her arse for you. Tomorrow I am going to the Gallows and you will never see me again, so slowly the pain will go away and only the good memories will remain."_ She smiled at him and she stroked his cheeks with her thumb to wipe his tears away.

"_No, no, no, Rose you don't get it. I mean yes I loved Solona but is you that I want. I want you to wake up next to me every morning, is you that I want to hold when I go to bed, you, Rose Hawke. Rose I love you and I want to be with you, until deaths do us part."_ He grabbed her face into his hands and pulled her at him.

And he kissed, he kissed her hoping that he will get lost in the kiss forever, he kissed her and he felt a weight was lifting from his heart. Yes this is where he belongs.

* * *

_Authors Notes: I am really enjoying writing this story! I think Varric is right! It is like an Orlesian Novel. Two more Chapters left. One more surprise in my sleeve for Rose Hawke and Anders._

_R&R please! Be critical and judgmental but be gentle with it. Love you all_


	4. Pillow Talk

Hawke couldn't move, she didn't want to move, his lips hungry, seeking her, his tongue dancing in her mouth; this is how life should be, in his arms. Anders hands were lost in her white mane, gently pulling her head back so he could kiss her neck, her earlobes and back to her mouth again. Maker she wanted him, feeling his erection on her lap. His hands started trailing down her body, squeezing her buttocks, stoking her thighs, trying desperately to lift her robes.

"_Anders, we need to stop. We are in the Chantry!" _she said while trying to breath, but Anders just growled and moaned at her and when she looked at him, his eyes were dark full of lust; it was just raw animal instinct.

"_I've been waiting four years to do this and now you are telling me we are in the Chantry! Even if the Maker himself came he will not be able to stop me!_" and once again his lips found hers.

"_Anders, no! A kneeling Andraste watching while we… you know, is not the most romantic thing in the world. Anyway, we need to talk first; some things must be said before this goes any further."_ He looked at her with disbelief. What else is there to be said? He loved her and she loved him.

"_I don't know, Andraste was a bit of a looker. You reckon the Maker will let her join in? And anyway what do you want to talk about? Did you do any talking with that beast before you let him into your bed?" _Slap! She sighted with exasperation.

"_See! This is what I mean!Please Anders let's just go home and talk."_ she said with bitterness in her voice.

Anders couldn't take this anymore. He got up in a swift move, grabbed her from the waist and lifted her over his shoulder. This girl will drive him insane. He kicked the door and hit Varric on the face. Sebastian tried to stop him but Anders look made him step back.

"_I am taking Lady Hawke back to her mansion for a chat and then I will show her how a real man fucks."_ And he turned and headed to the main door while some sisters and brothers gave him a disapproving look but some giggles followed him outside the door by the novice sisters.

Varric looked at Hawke on Anders shoulder and by the Paragons Balls! She was blushing and smiling.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

Anders carried Hawke from the Chantry all the way to her mansion on his shoulder, while she laughed and kicked and yelled at him to put her down, but Anders was adamant, he will take her home, talk, and then take her on the spot.

He burst through the door, again, for a second time in a day, and came face to face with Leandra Hawke. She looked confused for a split second but a wolfish smile appeared on her lips. Well, now he knew where Hawke got it from. She went past them and out of the door and without turning she said:

"_The cloister sister and the apostate mage is getting a bit old you know dearies. But top marks for costumes. Have fun!" _and she walked out.

Anders and Hawke froze on the spot. What in the Makers name was that! Hawke shivered by an unwelcome thought of her mother and father in role playing.

Anders run up the stairs, into Hawkes room, he locked the door and just to be sure he placed a chair under the door knob. He through Hawke on the bed and started taking his jacket off without taking his eyes of hers. The room was dark with only a candle lidded by her desk.

"TALK!" he said in a tone that will even make the Templars shake in their armour.

"_I... well... you see... hmmm. Hey, why are you shouting at me?" _Hawke knew, but he could see that he was a force to be reckoned with.

"_Why?"_ he couldn't believe she was asking him _"What were you thinking wanting to go the Gallows? Was it a visit or was it a permanent arrangement?"_ her gaze dropped to her hands sitting on her lap.

"_You don't want to know" _she whispered without looking at him.

He grabbed her face and forced her to look at him. _"Tell me, NOW."_

"_I was... ummm...I was going to request to become Tranquil. Anders, I couldn't take the pain anymore. Seeing you torturing yourself and me, it was too much. Even I have my limits. I know it was foolish, but it was the only solution I could think of!"_Anders was staring her in pure horror. His Hawke a Tranquil!And Sebastian was going to take her. He will kill that choir- boy.

He let go her face, tears running down her cheeks. He looked away and run his hands through his hair. He through a fireball into the fire place and it lit the whole room. She flinched from him. No, he didn't want her to be scared of him. But she said it; the air needs to be cleared if this thing was going to work. He sat on the armchair by the fire place and placed his face in his hand. He was so tired.

"_And Fenris? Where does he come in this crazy story?"_He asked though his hands, he didn't really want to know but he had to ask.

"_Well... you see... he was here when I came home from the Ball and we..."_her voice trailed off.

"_And you what Hawke? Tell me, I need to know." _deep down he knew that he didn't. He didn't know why he wanted her to say it.

"_Anders, no, please..." _her tears were running down her cheek again

"_SAY IT HAWKE!" _he shouted.

"_WE FUCKED!AND THEN HE LEFT ME! HAPPY?"_She was sobbing now and he knew why he wanted her to say it. He wanted her to feel the same way he did when he found out. But he hated himself for it, he wasn't happy.

With s smirk on his face he said:

"_Do you know why he left?" _She shook her head and Anders got up and went and sat next to her on the bed. _"While you were sleeping, you called out my name and you told me that you love me. He got a bit upset I think after that." _His smirk tuned into a wolfish smile.

Now it was Hawkes turn to look horrified. Shit, shit, shit! She didn't mean to hurt Fenris feelings. She cared for him, but she knew, she shouldn't have slept with him.

"_Is not funny Anders. You might not like Fenris but he is a good man, and he cares deeply about me. I shouldn't have used him to drown my feelings for you."_Anders smile disappeared. He didn't want to talk about Fenris anymore. All he wanted was Hawke in his arms.

He took his boots off and sat behind Hawke. He picked her up and sat her on his lap and she buried her face in his neck while her hands rested on his chest. Hawke started sobbing again and all he wanted to do was to cradle her in his arms.

"_Shhhh love! Is ok! I am sorry, I didn't want to upset you." _He took her face in his hands and with his thumbs he wiped her tears away. _"Please, no more tears. I want to see Rose Hawke that I fell in love with. That annoying, reckless little girl, that every time I see her, I want to place her over my knee, and give her a good hiding and then rip her robes off and make love to her."_She looked at him and her icy eyes glittered.

"_Heyyyy! You promised everyone that you will show me how a real man fucks!"_

Anders couldn't control himself anymore. To the Void with the talking, they could talk later. He threw her off his lap and pulled her on her feet. He stood behind her and with one swift move he ripped all the buttons from Hawks robes. She giggled but Anders didn't smile or laugh. He walked away from her leaving her standing naked in front of him. Her wolf was running up and down her back, yelping playfully.

"_Do you have something against underwear Hawke? You seem to misplacing them the last few days!" _he said with a small grin on his face. Hawke blushed for the first time under a man's stare.

"_Ummmm, well I didn't think about them when I was dressing this morning. Anyway, Varric was here and he was irritating me with questions."_ She replied avoiding his eyes. Anders was getting angry again. He was pacing around her like a lion stalking his pray, his eyes piercing hers.

"_So let me get this straight! Is there any of our companions that hasn't seen you naked!"_ she looked thoughtful for a second, lowered her eyes and shook her head. Anders grabbed her face with one hand and with the other one he cup one of her breasts, playing with her nipple. He kissed her and said with a coarse voice.

"_From now on, nobody sees you naked but me, understood?"_She was looking at him wide- eyed and nodded. He smiled at her, happy for once to have great Hawke on a disadvantage.

She walked backwards and sat on the bed pulling him to her, but images run through his head of Hawke and Fenris, together, in Hawkes bed, and before Fenris it was Isabela and Makers knows how many others. He couldn't do it. He pulled her with a yank off the bed and she gasped, as he pulled her down to the massive bear rug in front of the fire place. She smiled up at him with a grin.

"_Well,…. It seems that… we are getting down to it. Literally! Care to tell me what is wrong with my bed?"_ the smile never leaving her face.

"_Tomorrow we are getting a new bed." _He looked away with embarrassment.

"_Right, of course we are! Ummm….. Why?"_ Yes, her suspicions were right, Anders is indeed insane. She took his face in her hands and still with a smile asked again. _"Why?"_

"_Because I…. I don't want our first time together to be where you rolled around with that beast. Or with your slutty friend and all the whores you brought home. And don't deny it!"_ Hawke didn't batter an eyelid, mischief was written all over her face.

"_Well, I am a woman with a huge…umm…appetite. What can I say!" _she smiled to him innocently and lowered her eyes.

There she was kneeling naked in front of him, her milk white skin reflecting the flames, her eyes glittering, Fenris was right, she is a gift from the Maker!

He stroked her face with his fingertips, down her breasts, to her belly and down to her thighs. He never realised how many battle scars she had, especially for a mage that can heal them.

"_Why don't you heal your scars away?" _he asked while he was stroking a sword cut scar on her left shoulder. She lowered her eyes and whispered.

"_What I do,…no, what WE do, is to make this world a better place. Every scar I have it reminds me that, it was a blow that saved a mage, an elf, a dwarf or just a man, woman or child. Every scar is a mark that we are closer to make this place better."_ She smiled _"Anyway, I think scars are pretty sexy. Don't you think?" _she looked up at him.

Anders grabbed her and kissed her, his tongue in her, savouring her, hearing her moans in his mouth. She pressed her body on his and he could feel the heat coming from her body. He pushed her back gently, his lips never leaving hers, until she was laying down, her legs around his waist.

He got up and removed his shirt, watching her laying there in front of the fire, waiting for him. He thought that he wouldn't be able to control himself, but seeing her laying there naked, it was the most beautiful sight he ever saw in his entire life. He could really see it now; Rose was nothing like Solona, Rose was wild, mischievous and confident in her own skin, that apparently everybody had a look before he did. But most importantly she understood him like no other. She will follow him to the end.

He walked back to her and lowered himself on top of her. He looked at her and he smiled.

Hawke had enough. What was Anders playing at? He sure took his sweet time. She grabbed him and kissed him, conjuring an electricity spell on her fingertips, while she was stroking his back. He groaned in her mouth and his kiss became dipper. His hands on her nipples, shooting electricity pulses through her body. So this is how it feels to be with a mage. She liked it. His mouth suddenly replaced his hands and he nipped and sucked her nipples, while one of his hands stroked her warm, wet sex. She moaned her nipples hard in his mouth and with a swift move he placed two fingers inside her. Electricity went through her whole body. In and out his fingers went his sucking and kissing more hungry, she couldn't hold herself any longer and she came with a loud scream.

Anders looked up at her and he smiled at the site. She looked him straight in the eye with a raised eyebrow and amusement.

"_Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?"_ he said, while his fingers continued to explore her wet sex.

"_Yes, but as a rule, you have say it every time you see me! Morning, night and in-between." _she replied with a moan, all humour gone from her face and voice.

Suddenly, before he realised how, he was on the rug and Hawke on top of him. Maker how did she do that! Her hair falling on her face like velvet curtains, her hands stroking his chest, examine his own battle scars, her eyes following her hands, her lips following her hands, small butterfly kisses. She looked up at him and smile.

"_So… do real men keep their trousers on when they fuck or is it a mage thing?" _but she didn't wait for his reply. She unbuttoned it while shifted her body so she could pull it down, while Anders looked at her with amusement. To Hawkes surprise, she wasn't the only one that seemed to misplace her small clothes. She looked up at him and he shrugged.

"_Yeah, umm, the trousers were way too tight for smallclothes, anyway, I was feeling…lucky. Well it doesn't matter now. I don't really need them see?" _and he pointed at his erection. Hawke looked and blushed_._

"_Well, umm, the Maker sure didn't want you to feel small and insignificant as the Chantry wants us to believe. And you are…umm… proud of it." _She finished with a grin.

Anders laughed, he laughed so hard that tears started running down his face. He felt liberated, yes, Rose Hawke is his true love. He tried to flip her underneath him but her knees dig into his thighs. He looked up at her and she shook her head.

She grabbed his erection and she placed into her. Maker, she was so tight! She started rocking herself and soon found himself following her rhythm. Faster and faster she moved, her head tilted backwards, moaning, while his hands played with her nipples and her buttocks. He couldn't control himself anymore and he emptied inside her with a growl. Hawke fell on top of him, trying to steady her breath, her hair all over his face. His breathing hard, but he had to say it.

"_I love you, I've been holding back on saying that until today. You should have a normal life, not be tied down to a fugitive with no future. But I don't ever want to leave you."_ He said it and now he was holding his breath waiting for her reply.

She moved up slowly and looked at him in the eye, then looked at the door and then back at him. Maker she was going to kick him out!

"_Want a sandwich?"_ she said with a smirk on her face. Anders let go of his breath. She is insufferable. He laughed and replied.

"_You will be the inspiration to generations of romantic poets." _she smiled back at him and kissed him.

"_Anders, Ii don't want you to leave me. I want you right here with me, at my side, forever." _She smiled at him and kissed him at the corner of his mouth.

"_Rose, I am an apostate fugitive. The Templars are after me, the Grey Wardens want me back…" _but he didn't finish his sentence because Hawke was lowering her head near his crotch. _"Ummm Hawke, what are you doing?"_ he asked even though he knew what she was doing.

"_Anders, the Templars, the Grey Wardens, all of them, have to go through me to get you. Now let's see this legendary Grey Warden stamina, Ii mean it must be the only decent thing the taint offered you. I bet you will not be able to keep up!" _she gave him one her legendary smiles before she placed his cock in her mouth, her wolf staring at him with its tail waggling.

Anders was in heaven. Fuck the Templars, the Grey Wardens, The Maker himself. He was home!

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

The sun was rising when Anders and Hawke actually stopped their love- making. They were both exhausted but happy. Hawke was in his arms half asleep while Anders was stroked her wolf. He looked at her and smiled.

"_So what's the story with the wolf? It seems to understand how you feel."_ but he knew the answer the minute he finished asking it.

"_It portrays how I feel at the moment. You see the slave oppression in Tevinter Emporium is not enough for the great Tevinter Magisters. So some of them tattoo their slaves with magic that portrays their feelings, that way they know how their slaves feel, and most usually enjoy watching their slaves' tattoos tremble in fear at their mere side of them. At the time I didn't know, but when my father saw it, well let's say it wasn't a good day for me and Carver. I suppose the Magister found it entertaining to tattoo another mage like a slave."_ She gave him a small sad smile and his arms tight around her. _"It doesn't really bother me to be honest. She has become a friend to confined, and funny enough she feels exactly the same way"_ she finished with a grin.

"_And what's with the white hair? I mean is it because of magic or is it genetic. Solona had your snowy mane as well. Or is it that you are getting old?"_ He said while ruffling her hair with a smile.

"_Hey! That was mean!" _she tapped him gently on the chest and he kissed her hair. _"No, is because of magic. We are full of it. Take Fenris for example…he has white hair because of the lyrium, to much magic for a non magical person. When we…ummm. Never mind." _She went to get up from the rug but Anders pulled her back down.

"_Tell me! I don't want secrets between us Rose. Yes, you and Fenris shared a night together, that's it. But now you are mine and that's what matters."_ He gave her a reassuring smile, but deep down he was jealous, foolish as it was.

"_Hmmm, ok this is really awkward. Are you sure?"_ she looked up at him while scratching her forehead and she smiled with a half-smile.

"_Fine. Ummm, when I was with Fenris the night before, his lyrium tattoos were glowing and when we were…ummm, you know, his lyrium tattoos inside me were charging my magic. It was like I consumed hundreds of lyrium potions. It was incredible and overwhelming. My magic and his lyrium tattoos though brought him pain. It was too much magic. When he is with Isabela he has no problem. When he was with Danarius he didn't… have that problem either. But me… too much magic. Therefore the white hair, Solona has it and so did our great- grandfather Leonidas Amell."_ She finished with a shrug and her face was flushed, from embarrassment.

Anders didn't know what to say. He didn't expect that! So… Fenris was in pain while he was with Rose. Good. And his Rose was a freakish mage hybrid. Well the Maker does have a sense of humour of bringing them together.

"_So you are a freaky magical creature?" _he smiled back to her.

"_You should talk! Abomination. Hey Justice did you have fun last night?" _she nuzzled at him.

"_Rose don't, please. Justice does not approve of you. He calls you a distraction, but you are the one thing that I put my foot down, but please don't push him."_

He looked outside the window. The sun was almost up. He pulled her head to face him, her eyes were half shut and she was falling asleep. He got up very slowly so he would not wake her up, picked her up and placed her on the bed, bringing up the covers to cover her. Then he moved to the other side of the bed and went under the covers with her. Hawke moved and rested her head on his chest.

"_I thought you didn't like my bed." _she said with a mumble.

"_Yeah well, you need to sleep so I will make an exception today. But tomorrow we get a new one." _ He kissed the top of her head. _"Now go to sleep."_

"_Don't ever leave me Anders" _she said in her sleep.

"_Never love, never!" _and found himself falling asleep peacefully for the first time in four years.

* * *

_Authors Notes:__Well I thought I would have been able to finish it in two more chapters but that boat sailed. Be patient with me.  
_

___R&R please! Be critical and judgemental but be gentle with it. Love you all_


	5. News

Hawke was lying in bed holding Anders pillow that his mother gave him, crying again, as she is been doing for the last week. It was raining outside, lightning lighting the darkness of their room. Her mother gone, killed by a mage no less. How ironic really, Anders and her were mages, so maybe she was right when she asked Anders if the Templars were right about them. Anders of course denies it; he is half an abomination himself. And to top everything up the Qunari are getting way to restless to her liking. And to top it up Anders was spending so much time in the clinic she didn't see him for the last two days. It wasn't that he didn't come home, it was because he would come home in the morning after she would have left or leave before she came home.

Suddenly she felt sick, her stomach threatening to move into her mouth. She reached the chamber pot just in time. This is the seventh time is happening to her the last few days. It must be the shock of losing her mother, it must be. But her trail of thought blew to smithereens when a realisation slapped her. No, Anders is a Grey Warden, chances are almost to none, except, oh no! Fenris! How could should be so careless? Anders will never forgive her for this. If it was somebody else's he might have accepted it eventually, but Fenris? Then again, it could be Anders; it was exactly a day apart. Maker Anders was right. She was a slut like Isabela. At least Isabela was smart enough to be cautious. What a mess! She needed a drink. SHIT! She couldn't even do that now. She conjured a spell and started pulsing magic through her belly to see if she could find any alien bodies in her. There it was, Maker what a mess!

She rubbed her belly and for a few seconds imagined what it will be like to have a child with Anders. She knew from the start that was a very slim possibility and she accepted it, but then she realised that the child with two mage parents have no chance of being normal, that the Circle will take their baby away like they did to Anders. She will never accept it and for certain Anders will never allow it. She was at a loss. She had nobody really to give her a good advice now that her mother was dead. She loved her friends but they were all entwined in their own problems and the only person that was keep popping in her head was… Carver.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

Hawke was running through the Gallows courtyard to avoid the rain when she spotted Cullen. She went up to him and his face lid up.

"_Lady Hawke, always a pleasure, how are you this glorious day?" _he asked her with a small bow.

"_At what point this is a fine day Cullen?"_ she smiled back to him. She really liked Cullen, so easy to talk to. Anders seems to like him a little better now, since his decision to be with her and not in his fantasies with Solona Amell.

"_Rain reminds me of home Hawke, Ferelden. Wet, muddy and glorious! But I digress, what brings you to the Circle?" _he pointed the door that let inside to the barracks.

"_I am here to see Carver, as soon as possible, is sort of an emergency."_ She gave him a small smile.

"_Of course, through here if you please."_ He let her through the corridors of the Circle, her body tense. A small slip and she could be locked in here. Or even worse, her baby could end up locked in here. She tapped her belly, not sure if she was reassuring herself or the baby.

Carver was chatting with… Merrill? What on Makers flaming balls is she doing here. The minute they saw her they both stiffen up. She walked up to them and nodded a thank you to Cullen and he left with a courtesy bow, and the three of them stood in silence.

"_Oh dear, look at the time. I better go, is getting really late." _and Merrill run out. Rose walked up to Carver and whispered to him.

"_Is it wise Carver? As much as I like Merrill she is a blood mage and you are a Templar. Tread carefully little brother."_ She gave him a half smile and a pad on the shoulder. But Carver jumped away from her touch, like electricity went through him.

"_Yeah, and you bringing that abomination to our ancestral home is so much better. Rose, here I am a Knight -Templar and you still try to control me. Why are you here, big sister?" _he gave her a suspicious look but when he saw her face his expression soften. His big sister was crying, the toughest person he ever met in his life and she was crying in front of him. He never saw her cry in her entire life. When their father died she stood tall, straighten her shoulders and took his place as the house head. When Beth died he fought like a crazy to keep him and mother alive. All that with not a single tear.

"_Rose, what's the matter? Did Anders do something to you? Do you want us to bring him in?"_ her shocked face told him that was not it. _"Rose, you never cry. What is the matter_? _Is it because of mother?"_ he finished with a whisper. He took her in his arms and felt tears running down his cheek, but he didn't really care, it was his big sister, she will probably make fun of him later, but now, he didn't care.

"_I couldn't save her little brother! All my powers and I couldn't save our mother. And now I might lose Anders as well!" _She was sobbing uncontrollably.

Carver pushed her at arm's length still holding her shaking shoulders. His sister's face was puffy from crying and her eyes, her usual crystal ice eyes red from all the crying.

"_Rose, what does Anders has to do with mother?"_ he was getting really confused. He remembered his mother telling him how Rose and their father had the same trail of thought. It made no sense to anybody else but to them, but it was always for a reason and always became clear at the end. So he waited patiently to pause her sobbing.

"_Well little brother, you will be an uncle soon."_ She gave him a bitter smile. Carver looked at her at disbelief. His jaw dropped and he wasn't sure if he could ever close it again but then he grinned at her.

"_You are going to be a mother! Ha, ha, ha. That's a good one Rose. You almost had me there for a second. Cruel but a good one, so which whore is the father?" _he said with a raised eyebrow. His sister was always good at the most inappropriate and best pranks, but this one must be the best one. But Roses eyes didn't smile and she started crying again. Maker! She wasn't joking. He lifted her head up and looked at her.

"_Rose, who is the father? Can Grey Wardens have children? Ohhhh,I see! Who's is it then?"_ he was sad because of his sister's pain but he was not sad that Anders was not the father.

"_Well, it could Anders! You don't know that. Yes, Grey Wardens don't usually have children but it happens. However it could also be…ummm, Fenris." _She finished with a whisper.

"_WHAT! Makers balls Rose! You are unbelievable! You can't go around sleeping with your comrades. Is rule number one in the army but you wouldn't know! OK, explain to me how this happened." _He took a deep breath and he sat her down next to the fire place.

"_Well, it all started really at the De Launcet Ball about seven weeks ago give or take. Anders was my escort and we had this huge fight. Anyway, I walked home alone with Queen Anora and there was Fenris, waiting for me, apparently he knew that Anders would have messed it up somehow and he comforted me, but then he walked away because he knew I would never love him because I love Anders. Then I decided to surrender myself to the Circle, but Sebastian asked to me to reconsider and pray all night at the Chantry. Well that didn't work because Anders came and took me back to the mansion, and well, we kissed and made up. And now I found out that I am… with child. I think." _she finished and took a deep breath.

"_So you are not sure? Didn't you see a healer?" _he said in a panic. Wait, why was he panicking?

"_I am a mage as well Carver and a very good healer, of course I am sure but a second opinion wouldn't harm but if you suggest I should go to Anders and say, oh Anders great news Ii might be carrying your baby, but then again it might be Fenris. Surprise! Forget it." _Rose was getting angry with her brother's stupidity. But an idea hit her.

"_No, wait that is a great idea. I knew I could rely on you little brother. OK, can you get me a pair of the ugly robes that mages wear here? And a hood that will cover my face. Yes! Well done Carver!" _she hugged him and kissed him, but Carver was looking at her at complete lost.

"_Rose you might want to explain to me what are you talking about?"_ she was smiling at him with her usual mischievous smile.

"_Go and bring me the things I asked and I will tell you on the way!"_

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

Carver was dressed in peasant's clothes and wrapped in a woollen cape. Rose next to him was wearing a pair of brown robes with golden embroidery, her hair and face covered by a hood and a scarf. Carver was fidgeting and grumbling to himself.

"_Would you stop that! Nobody will recognise us." _She said while they were running through Lowtown. The rain was working on their advantage as very few people were in the street.

"_Rose really, we look ridiculous. I mean you shouldn't be hiding from the man you love. If he really loves you he will accept you the way things are. This charade is unnecessary. What are planning to do anyway? Pretend to be a mage I got pregnant?" _he said with a sarcastic smirk, but immediately he realised that's exactly her plan.

"_Rose no! That is beyond ridiculous. You know I am not stupid enough to do something like this. That's your speciality by the looks of it." He said and she stopped and took his hands._

"_Please baby brother! Do this for me." _Her big crystal ice eyes looking straight through him.

"_Fine, but don't give me the puppy eyes. And you might want to keep your head low. Your eyes are part of the great Hawke persona, and I am sure the abomi… Anders will recognise them." _she squeezed his hands, lowered her head and start walking again through Darktown.

She knew he will be at the clinic this time of the day, especially on a rainy day. People seem to be more accident prone when it rained. When they walked in she felt Anders, more than she saw him as she kept her head low.

"_Here he comes…don't look up" _Carver whispered to her.

"_Carver, what in the Makers tits are you doing here? And… who is the mage?"_ Anders asked him with a growl.

"_Good to see you to. Glad to see that my sister's love didn't change your bitterness. But I am not here for me. Is for R… Rosalyn here. I had to smuggle her out of the Circle to bring her to see you. She suspects she is with child."_ He finished with a growl.

"_Well, I am glad to see that my new brother is embracing the Templars code of treading mages are sex objects." _He gave him a sarcastic smile. Carver crabbed Anders by the coat, pulled him close to him and whispered in his ear.

"_One, I am not your brother, two, I would never hurt a hair of a mage and three, I would never use anybody as a sex object."_ For the life of him he could not see what his sister saw in this thing.

"_Yes, well, I am glad to see that the Templars taught you how to count, but if Rosalyn here will follow me so I can examine her." _He said and started walking to the nearest cot. Rose gave Carver a nudge in the ribs with her elbow when Anders wasn't looking.

"_Right Rosalyn, can you lie on this cot for me please and I will examine you in a second. Shall I ask the Templar to go and wait outside?" _ Anders said giving Carver a mischievous smile but Rose shook her head franticly.

"_Look at that Carver, this little mage really likes you. Have you been offering her extra rations so she will be nice to you?"_ but Anders didn't wait for an answer.

He walked up to Rosalyn that was lying on the cot with her hands covering her face. The poor girl is embarrassed and terrified. Anders you should help her! Quite Justice!

"_Right Rosalyn, I am going to touch your belly and you will feel some magic energy run through you. If you are with child it will not harm it. OK?" _he used the calmest voice he could conjure and when the girl nodded her head he touched her.

He conjured a spell and after a few seconds he found what he was looking for. There it was. Another creature inside her and it was not a demon. He smiled a bitter smile, because he knew the fate of that child. For a second he remembered Hawke and thought how it will be if they had a child together. With her magic and his for sure that child will be a mage. If they stayed in Kirkwall they would end up taking their child away to the Circle, and he will not accept it. But it was just foolish dreams of a foolish man. He was a Grey Warden. Grey Wardens have difficulty having any children. Isn't it one of the reasons Solona and Alistair never got married? Well except the mage part of course. Also was the Justice situation with him. If they had a child Makers knows what kind of a child will be. Wait a second; he could recognise her raw energy anywhere and that strand of white hair, oh shit! Rose.

"_Well, you are with child, but what I don't understand is the deception. Rose! What the hell? Carver don't try to hide her hair, I already saw it." _He was shouting and Tomas started escorting the rest of the patients out of the clinic.

Rose jumped up and removed the hood and scarf. She was flushed and her eyes were the eyes of a scared trapped animal.

"_What's with the deception Hawke? Oh I see…Maker the child is not mine. Of course is not. I am a Grey Warden and an abomination. Oh Hawke who is the father?" _he was looking at her with wide eyes, he was hurt. How could his love do this to him?

"_I…I… don't know who the father is." _She gave him a small shrug before she sat on the cot. _"If my calculations are right is either you or…" _but he finished her sentence with a growl.

"_Fenris." _That beast has his filthy paws everywhere when it comes to Rose."_Well, it looks like the beast won this one Hawke. As a Grey Warden and an abomination I have the disadvantage. Go and tell the father the good news." _And he turned around to leave, but Carver didn't give him a chance.

He grabbed Anders by the shoulder and turned him round and punched him straight on the jaw, but Anders wasn't going down. He lost count how many times people punched him and he was itching to punch Carver for years now. So he landed a good punch on Carvers bone cheek.

"_Come on Templar. You are being itching to do this. So let's do this baby brother."_ He said with a bitter smile and his arms outstretched.

Carver got up and landed a punch through Anders stomach, but when Anders went to punch him Carver swirled around him and punched him in the kidneys. Anders leg collapsed and ended up kneeling on one knee and Carver used his elbow and hit him on the neck. Anders collapsed on the floor, the physical pain nothing compare to the emotional one he was suffering just now. He was not meant for happiness.

"_Come on Templar finish me. What are you waiting for?" _he slurred while he was still on the floor. Carver knelled next to him and picked Anders head from the hair and whispered in his ear.

"_You are a fool if you thing I will give you the satisfaction of ending your misery. But you are a bigger fool if you think my sister will choose Fenris over you. She loves you and that is the only reason that I haven't let the Templars thought your clinic yet. I am leaving now but make sure my sister and her baby get home safely." _Carver smacked Anders head on the ground and Anders felt the blood pouring out of his nose.

Anders heard Carvers footsteps grow weaker and he got up with a grunt, when he remembered Rose. She was sitting in a corner cradling her belly and tears running down her cheeks. When she saw him her crying stopped and she just stared at him. Blood running down his coat. Rose walked up to him and healed it with a quick healing spell. He lowered his head and placed his arms on her shoulders.

"_Rose I am so sorry. I…didn't really mean all those things I said. I love you and I will love this baby as my own if you choose me to. I mean is not unheard of Wardens having children. King Alistair had twins from the Queen. So why not me?" _he said with a small smile.

Fuck it. Why not him. He has the same possibilities like any other Warden and Alistair did it in seven months. Well, he did it in seven weeks. Bit that great King Alistair. He hugged her and kissed her.

"_Oh love, please forgive me. Let's go home. We use the cellar entrance." _

When she nodded he picked her up in his arms and carried her through the cellar to their bedroom. He placed her gently on the bed and started examine her belly again. The little pulse is there and is healthy. He walked up to the door and called Orana to bring hot water for the bathtub.

Rose got up and started removing her robes and Anders came to help her.

"_Anders I am pregnant not incompetent. Ii can remove my own robes." _She smiled to him and patted his hand.

"_Yes, you are right, I am sorry. Is my son you are currying you know, I have to look after you. I mean let's face it, if anything happens to the baby here goes my legacy." _He gave her a grin and she slapped him playfully on the arm.

When the bath was ready, they got in together and they started talking about the last two days they haven't seen each other. Suddenly the door flew open and Isabela burst in. Anders jumped for his staff. When Isabela saw him naked with a staff stop for a second and raised an eyebrow.

"_Well hello sailor, at ease!" _her eyes lingered a little longer on him before she looked at Hawke was sitting calmly in the bathtub. Anders picked up and towel and covered himself and looked at Rose with exasperation.

"_I am turning into you Rose. Living with you I had Varrc, Merrill and now Isabela seen me naked."_ He went and sat by the fire.

"_Never mind about you being naked. I have real problems…" _but before she could finished her sentence Aveline burst in. Anders growled at them but the three women ignored him.

Ten minutes later Rose and Anders were dressed and rushing out of the door. Anders stopped her.

"_Love this is insane. You could get hurt. I can't bear to lose you and the baby. Stay home and Isabela can sort out her own problems and Aveline… well Aveline can sort out her problems with her guards." _he looked at her with desperation.

"_Anders love, remember what Ii said about my scars? Every one of them makes this world a better place and now we have one more reason to make this world better. Yes? Anyway I am too stubborn to go down."_ she smiled at him and when he nodded his head she stroke his cheek and kissed him softly on the lips.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

The battle with the Arishok was gruesome and Anders thought a couple of times that he was going to lose her, but as usual she was right, way too stubborn to go down. Her right arm was slashed into several places as well as her left leg, but his heart jumped when the Arishok stabbed her in the stomach. The sword missed the baby by inches. But his love and their baby were fine. She was unconscious for the last two days but her wounds were healing. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Anders jumped. He picked up his staff and waited.

Fenris head picked through the door and Anders body stiffen. What does he want here? Anders tried to calm himself but something in Fenris eyes told him that he knew. In his hand had some red roses like the ones she had tattooed on her back.

"_How is she?"_ he asked without removing his eyes from Rose.

"_She is fine." _he said and went and stood in front of her. Fenris looked like he was choking.

"_And the baby?"_ he asked in a whisper.

Anders froze. How Fenris did know about the baby? They haven't told anybody. They didn't have the time to tell anybody. Fenris looked at him and answered his thoughts.

"_Carver came to the mansion and told me. I have every right to be here as well."_ He growled at him his tattoos glowing.

"_You left her Fenris, what did you expect she will do? Sit and mourn for you?" _he replied with a sarcastic smile.

"_And you were fast enough to replace me." _Fenris knuckles turning white.

"_I love her. You can't even imagine what that is."_ The smile never leaving his face.

"_Do not bare your heart to me, mage, unless you would have me rip it out."_ They were standing face to face now glaring at each other.

"_Anders that could be my baby as much as yours. If it is I want to be there for Hawke and the baby. Also if it is, I don't want you near my son."_ And he gave Anders a wild look.

"_Well unfortunately for you Hawke chose me and where she goes I go." _He smiled to him a cruel smile.

"_Will see about that abomination." _And he walked out taking his roses with him. Well they were the only roses he could keep.

Anders walked up to Hawke and sat next to her. He lowered his lips at her belly and whispered.

"_I am your papa, not that beast, and you will be a great mage that will liberate all mages. You will see."_ And kissed Hawkes belly.

* * *

_Author's Note: I am so exited about Rose and Anders and I was exited writing the bit that Carver bit the crap out of Anders. As much as I love Anders he is a bit of a cry baby._

_Please R & R please. Your comments always help me to improve myself._

_Be critical and judgemental but nice about it.  
_


	6. Seaside

Is been seven months since the defeat of the Arishok and Hawke was getting really bored. She was the Champion, a big, fat, pregnant Champion. The heat was unbearable. Hawke was sitting in the kitchen with Sandal and Orana drinking lemonade. She loved Orana's company, always so calm and patient, especially with Sandal. Anders was at cellar with Bodahn and Queen Anora chasing rats. Hawke smiled of the thought of Anders doing domestic and mundane work, like chasing rats. For whatever reason Justice seems to be at ease with their new life, not that she was complaining about it, but at the back of the mind something was unsettling her.

Anders entered the kitchen from the cellar door, interrupting her thoughts, but when she saw him she smiled. He was wearing just his pants and boots. His naked chest and face glittering with sweat. Hawke hold her breath and her heart started pounding. This was insane, after all this time together he still takes her breath away. He picked up a mug of cold lemonade and quaffed it down. Queen Anora burst through the door to her water bowl but on her way she bumped on Anders who made him spill the lemonade on his chest and pants.

"_Anora, watch it you mongrel! Rose, why I am chasing rats in your cellar? I am a mage not a pest exterminator! Fuck is hot in here!"_he shouted.

He was pissed off and he didn't even know why. He offered to help Bodahn because he wanted to proof to Rose that he will be a good father and husband. They haven't really spoken about getting married but something was stopping him to bring it up. Deep down he knew the reason but Hawke didn't brought it up either. To be fair he wasn't sure how he would react if the baby was Fenris. To the Void, he shouldn't really care; it was part of Hawke as well as Fenris, a constant reminder of Rose's and Fenris night together.

He looked at her and she was smiling to him. He gave her an apologetic smile and Orana offered him a towel with a smile. He took it and he walked up to Hawke and sat next to her.

"_Sorry love. I didn't mean to shout at you." _He said and stroked her belly. He leaned down and kissed her belly and Hawke moved away from him.

"_Ew… you are sweaty!" _as she cringed away from him with a smile.

"_Oh yeah? Come here!" _He got up swiftly and picked her up in his arms. Rose squeaked and laughed, while Queen Anora jumped around and almost tripped Anders.

"_Anora for the Makers balls! For a mabari you are not the smartest of the lot. I swear that dog has it for me since I banned her from the bed." _He looked at Queen Anora with squinted eyes. Queen Anora growled at him but jumped and licked his hands.

"_You do know she sleeps at your side of the bed when you leave early for the clinic." _She gave him a mischievous smile. Anders just shook his head and placed her gently back to her seat with smile.

Suddenly her eyes lit up. She jumped up and pulled him for a kiss.

"_I have an idea! Let's go to the beach! Yes, we can go with our friends and we can take some food with us and have a picnic."_ She clapped her hands with excitement, but Anders face was full of concern.

"_Rose, you are about to give birth in a few weeks, so going riding to the beach is not recommended by your physician, namely me." _he replied but his voiced trailed at the end. He knew it was a battle that he will lose. Rose was as reckless and mischievous as the first time he met her. Baby or not. _"Fine" _was all he could say as she run upstairs to change.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

Everybody was there and Avelin even brought Donnic with her. Hawkes big surprise though was when he saw Merrill ride with Carver. She never realised how serious those two were for each other. She hoped they knew what they were getting themselves into.

Hawke tried to dismount her black stallion when Fenris jumped off his mare to help her. She smiled at him, hugged him and walked off. Anders walked over and bumped on him.

"_Stay away from them beast." _He said as he run after Hawke.

They settle their belongings to the exact same spot that so many years ago Anders rejected her. But the Maker had other plans for them. Here they are, four years later and they are together expecting a baby.

Anders walked up behind Hawke and placed his arms around her belly and hugged her while he kissed her neck.

"_Uhhh… you two sicken me. I want the old Hawke back. The fun one! The one that knew how to share if you know what I mean!"_ said Isabela with a grin. Hawke smiled and extended her arms and brought Isabela in the embrace. Isabela then got the opportunity and pinched Hawkes and Anders butt cheeks befored run off into the sea.

"_Do you need help with your robes love?" _Anders said to Rose with a grin.

"_Maker yes!" _she replied trying to unbutton the buttons from the back.

Anders helped her remove her robes and held his breath. She was as beautiful as the day he met her. He pulled her close and gave her a wet kiss and a slap on well shaped bottom. She squeaked and run into the water with Isabela. He sat down never taking his eyes over her.

"_You know Blondie, you can blink now and again, she won't disappear."_Varric said with a chuckle as he sat next to him and offered him a drink.

"_I know Varric, is just, every time I look at her I thank the Maker for sending her my way. Well I should thank you really. I mean look at her Varric! She is the Champion of Kirkwall, a pregnant mage and she is wrestling with her Templar brother. Do you know anybody else that can do that? I should stop them really before she gets hurt." _Anders made a move to get up but Varric pulled him down.

"_Blondie she is not a child. She will be the mother of your child, there is a difference. I think she will figure it out when to stop. I hope!"_ Anders looked at him with shock for a second but he smiled and nodded.

Varric and Anders watch the rest of the group splitting into two teams and started kicking a ball. Whichever team managed to kick the ball between the poles the most times, won, apparently an Antivan game called football. How original! There was a lot of pushing and pulling and grabbing but he noticed with amusement how gentle everyone was with Hawke, which irritated her immensely. Her reflexes were slow and she wasn't as quick as she used to be.

Suddenly Anders noticed something was not right. He was looking at Hawke but more importantly he was looking at the wolf at her back. She was crawled in a ball by her left shoulder blade whimpering. He jumped up and started running towards her.

"_No, ROSE!" _he grabbed her and looked into her eyes."_What's the matter love?" _but before she could answer he saw the problem; her waters have broken. _"Rose we need to get back to Kirkwall. You can't have the baby here .I don't have any potions with me. I need…" _he was panicking and he knew it.

"_Oh, great idea mage! The baby will be here any minute so you want to put her on a horse to bounce around." _Fenris said with a snarl.

"_Boys, now is not the time!" _Hawke barked at both of them. _"Anders, Fenris is right, the baby is coming and Kirkwall is at least two hours ride from here. It has to be here." _Anders shook his head but Hawke took it in her heads and kissed him. _"Anders, you have done this a hundred times, the only difference is that is me. Ohhhh!"_

By now she was laying in the sand and all her friends were around her. Merrill was jumping up and down from excitement.

"_Ohh, this is so much fun. When I was back with the elves, the whole clan will sit around the mother while she was giving birth and we would sing songs to sooth her. What was…"_

"_I swear if you start singing I will throw a Hex of Torment at you Merrill. Carver take her away from here. Nowwwwww." _She howled as the baby pushed its way out. Carver led Merrill away still smiling with Donnic following them.

Isabela kneeled next to her and took her hand and patted her while Sebastian kneeled on the other side and started praying.

"_I swear on the Makers balls I will give you the Fist of the Maker spell if you keep praying, see if you still pray after that." _Sebastian stopped abruptly by the hostility of Hawkes face and voice, but it was clear that he was still praying in silence.

Aveline kneeled next to Anders and looked at him.

"_Anders, what do you want me to do." _She said with a calm voice.

"_Ummm, ummm… ok I need you to go and get as many towels and blankets as possible, YOU," _he pointed Fenris, _"go and get me water. Lots of it! Varric, I need you to get me a drink." _He said while he was covering Hawke with a blanket and removing her bottom underwear. Hawke grabbed his shirt collar.

"_WHAT! I am having a baby and you want a drink? I want a drink! Ahhhhhh, I don't give a shit who the father, is but I swear when I am done I am killing you both. Fuck this baby is going to rib me in half like an ogre." _Hawke screamed.

Anders and Fenris looked at each other and they knew today, hopefully, they will know once and for all. Fenris nodded at Anders and Anders took the cup of ale that Varric passed him, gulped it in one go and looked at Hawke.

"_Love, when I say push you push, when I say stop, you stop. Understand?_ He said with the calmest voice he could conjure. Hawkes eyes grew small and she snarled back at him.

"_Anders, I am not stupid! Now get on with it! Ohhhhh" _and her head shot back and saw Fenris smile at her comment. _"Don't you dare laugh elf or I will Petrify you." _And the smile disappeared from Fenris lips.

After two hours, several pushes and a few more dozens of insults aimed directly at him by Hawke, Anders could see the head of the baby.

"_Rose love, I can see the head, one more push and we are done!" _he said and the minute he saw the baby's shoulders, he pulled.

It was a little girl, with the loudest cry he ever heard. He laughed and placed her in a blanket. Tears were running from everyone's eyes. Isabela took her from his trembling arms and started washing her. She was so gentle with her. The baby stopped crying as Isabela placed her into Hawkes arms.

Anders looked at the little bundle and he could see white fluff on her head. She had Rose's white hair… or Fenris. His head snapped up to see Fenris leaning down giving Anders a sly smile. But to everyone's surprise the baby opened her eyes and they saw Anders dark amber eyes. Anders didn't realise he was holding his breath and he released it with a cry. Fenris stiffened but he bent down to kiss Hawke on the forehead, got up and walked away. Anders felt the tears running down his cheeks as he picked up his daughter and kissed her gently. She yawned and snuggled at him when he placed her near his chest. He was laughing, crying all at the same time. Hawke looked at them with loving eyes.

"_Our little Bethany."_ She said with a tired smile. Anders nodded and leaned down to kiss her.

She looked around to all her friends that were passing Bethany around, all cooing at her and she got up slowly.

"_Thank you, I wouldn't have wished for anybody else to be around me when we brought Bethany into this world."_ She said as she picked up her daughter from a teary Carver.

She knew that little Bethany will be the luckiest girl in the world. Every single one of her friends will give their lives to keep her safe.

Hawke started heading to the direction that Fenris went. She needed to talk to him. She knew how much Fenris wanted little Bethany do be his and not Anders. She found him packing things away.

"_I think is a good idea to pack the things away, so we can set out to Kirkwall as soon as possible. The baby will need her clothes, it gets cold at night. I placed all…" _but Hawke interrupted him.

"_Fenris stop! I am sorry. I know you hoped that Bethany was yours. But can you be happy for me? I love Anders with all my heart and it is for the best that Bethany is his. Can you…"_

"_You mean is better for a little girl to have an abomination for a father than an elf ex-slave. Oh sure! So much better Hawke, the society will accept her with open arms, a little girl that both parents are mages. What do you think she will be when she grows up Rose? What man will want to marry a girl knowing that magic runs thicker than blood in her vein? I…" _but he stopped when he saw that his tattoos were glowing and Hawke had little Bethany into a protective embrace.

"_I am so sorry Rose! I didn't mean those things. Maker, I don't even know why I said them! Rose you know I would put my life down to protect you and the baby… Bethany." _He walked up to her and she leaned on his chest with Bethany. He placed his arms around them in an embrace. Yes, he will die for them if he has to.

Slowly the rest of the party walked into their direction and Fenris let go of Hawke. She smiled at him and he kissed Bethany on the top of the head. He gave her a small smile.

"_At least she looks more like you than him."_ He winked at her and walked away.

Anders helped Hawke on her stallion with baby Bethany and he turned around to come face to face with Fenris.

"_Be good to them. Hurt them and I will kill you mage!"_ Fenris said with a snarl and walked to his horse.

_DADADADADADADADADADA_

Anders and Hawke were lying in bed exhausted. They fought demons, bandits and dragons but nothing was more draining than a screaming baby. Even Orana and Bodahn started looking worn-out. The only one that found the baby enjoyable even with the screaming, it was Queen Anora and Sandal. Little Bethany was only four weeks old but had enough clothes and toys to last for several lifetimes and families but as babies are, well, she couldn't care less.

"_You know love, if she keeps screaming like that I might return back to the Wardens. At least there I will get some decent sleep. Darkspawns or not."_ He said with a weary smile.

"_HA! I was thinking of joining the Chantry. Say what you want about it but it's quite there. Maybe I will be part time Champion, part time cloister sister so I can sleep." _ Rose replied while snuggled up to him. _"You reckon if I try the Sleep Spell on her will be considered bad parenting?" _she asked with a yawn.

"_Love, as much I would have loved you to, I think using an Entropy Spell on our four week old daughter, will be considered bad parenting skills." _He gave her a squeeze and a kiss on top of her head.

"_Anders…we haven't discussed the possibility that little Bethany will probably be a mage. What do you think?"_ she said without looking at him, but Anders tilted her head so he could see her beautiful icy eyes.

"_Love, if our daughter is a mage, I will drown us in blood to keep you two safe, never forget that Rose. Our daughter will never see the Circle. Inside or outside."_ He said through clenched teeth. Rose taped him on the chest to reassure him and started snoring.

Anders got up and went and stood on top of Bethany's cradle. She was finally sleeping and her face was so peaceful. He stoked her cheek and she yawned. Anders smiled.

"_What are you dreaming little one? What wondrous things do the Spirits show you in the Fade? Or is it demons that haunt your dreams and you cry every night?" _he whispered and he found himself choking. He never loved anything so much as that little person. Tears started running down his cheeks.

"_Nobody will take you from me. I will make sure it. There cannot be half- measures, there will be no turning back and there can be no peace little Bethany! Papa will make sure of it!" _

_"Yes Anders! Good! There will be no compromise!"_ Justice said with a smile.

* * *

_Author's Note: Yay! A baby girl! I decided to give Anders a more important reason to blow-up the Chantry, I think little Bethany is more than enough. Therefore his last words to her are similar to the ones that he says to Orsino.  
_

_Please R & R please. Your comments always help me to improve myself._

_Be critical and judgemental but nice about it._


End file.
